The results of elections matter because politicians are real. God is not a real person and spiritual beliefs do not apply to every citizen the way, say, tax policy does. I picked the sexiest example.

Actually, he may have been a dick about it. Nobody here knows. If he wanted to be absolutely clear, jeez, I don't know, maybe he should have flexed some o'them wtitery muscles and done so. Instead, we have a quote that can be read a few different ways. Given his overall body of (precious) work, I personally favor the…

Merde Christianity was the title as submitted; damn copy editors.

The Pope then squashes the Scientologists by tossing his retinue from atop the Vatican. Them's the rules in Holy See Org, you know.

Taking all the Jesus scale money and giving it to Miscavidge seemed like the best way to war against Christians?

In the American version, ScarJo IS the salmon ladder!

"This movie was the tits!"
-St. Agatha

And that's how we got Michael Gambon, who fucking stinks. Thanks, Ian.

No, I think his travelin' handle is Mark O. Lepsy.

That might be the dumbest thing anyone said about Silence. Guess Marty should just make every story about Italian-American gangsters. He doesn't deserve to tell the stories he wants to, with the actors he wants to use. Jesus.

…for the first, and only, time.

If that is your only complaint about Kimmel, come sit by me so I can give you 1,000 more.

So there's one place to say how disgusting it was to see Mel Gibson? The Trump-bashing was great and all, but then everyone blew Mel Gibson so…what was the message, again? Oh right: F*ck Hollywood.

You are clearly the master of sarcasm, so here's an award. Opposite of everything you said.

And Jimmy Kimmel was amazing, totally knows how Twitter works, resisted the urge to lazily recycle bits from his TV show, and did not waste everyone's time with a stupid tour bus stunt!

And all the other bejeweled women at the Oscars were wearing…no rings? What? Theory: rejected.

Flore-da

Trying to f*ck around with his own daughter, you mean.

Petulant teenager!?!? Our Trumpy is growing up!

Can they, though? Because as I recall, the press completely failed to understand the basics of Trump's bullshit during the election. The press thought legal email > fascism. So.