OMG jail looks awesome! You don't have to worry about what to wear AND people compliment your titties. Jenji Kohan always makes the worst things look amazing. Weeds made slinging pot seem like the most fun shit ever.

Boot-pig is a gift meant for all of humanity to enjoy, like the sun, or Robert Downey Jr.

Oh sweet foofy-panted one! What a lovely thing to say - thank you so much. I'm grinning like ohhh, stahhhhhhp and I think you are BETTER than swell. I seek out your comments like a bloodhound. I will definitely do some more Clashtalk haunting. Sometimes I get confused between Clashtalk/Crosstalk/Groupthink (I know -…

Also this is NOT a booty tooch an that is NOT a smize. More like America's Next STOP Model. Oooooh, she burnt!

I think that social media has also given celebrities more of an accessibility that makes them less exciting to look at. Why should I get all excited about a photoshoot of you wearing weird dresses and contorting your body into shapes of various letters when I can just go stalk your instagram selfies. #sorry #YOLO

So sclose!

Say, that's some seriously sweet sibilance.

Oh no! Now I feel mean. No, you say whatever you want! Taste and scent are very closely related anyway. Plus, if someone licks your legs, then "flavored" would apply, so we're all winners.

Eeeee, it's all so weeeeeird. Reading this made me feel weird; I cannot imagine what it must have been like to actually attend. Bless you, Katie J.M. Baker. It almost reminds me of one of those weird interactive museum exhibits where you dress up as a pioneer person and walk around a pioneer building and pretend to be…

I am in support of a marathon oral-sex event to raise funds for research. Donors can contribute a fixed amount per orgasm and the tagline will be "EAT IT TO BEAT IT!"

I wonder how diligent they are about checking references.

Yeah, but a lot of their jokes are conscious and even referential to the fact that it's a show, like the watermark thing. This was the first thought that came to my mind, as well - I was convinced she'd had tons of work done! I don't "care;" she's gorgeous no matter what and great in the show, but she looked REALLY…

I have had nights EXACTLY like that. Down to the plaid button down. This video is fantastic. Sarah Silverman is the best <3

Oh man, I know. FernGully. He could be my Toxic Love. His choice in roles makes it so weird for me to maintain my crush on him, but I manage.

Oh Dodai bless you for mentioning Worst Witch, you wonderful wonderful person. FIRST movie I thought of, and I posted this clip of "Big Daddy Wiz" in a comment thread where I was trying to avoid deciding whether my crush on him meant I'd bang Nigel Thornberry:

The New York Times, ladies and gentleman. All the news that's fit to primp.

Sometimes I don't get the creative direction behind photoshoots. "Have her stand in front of a well-stocked toiletry shelf and then laugh and laugh and laugh at nothing at all. Misplaced maniacal laughter is testing very well with boomers."

You actually gave a fetus a virtual makeover. This is amazing. Love that hairstyle - it has a really slimming effect that looks great on gals with round shaped faces and umbilical cords.

Avoiding alcohol would save them some calories, but the study showed they ate 600 calories more. So apparently they are making up for the lack of cocktail cals somehow. I once witnessed a stoner friend eating a bowl full of potato chips covered in whipped cream.

Haha, yeah right. Like women know how to read.