That's the thing about terrorists, they're so inconsiderate when it comes to other people's TV schedules.

I think it was Seth Myers (might have been Trevor) who said that it's as though the media think Lucy's definitely, totally going to let them kick the football this time.

Some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at him.

Nah, Huey sounds too black for my liking.

The idea of a big fuck-ugly lump of concrete with his name on it is something of a recurring theme in the guy's life.

His wife refuses to live in the same house as him. Or leave her kid with him. No doy it's a sham.

Cleopatra's his grandma?

screw pooch?

Dangling choad, damn autocorrect

ELLO GUV'NOR…

They make them? As in, they draw pics and bios for characters called things like Whitey Pie and Kristallnacht Sparkle?

We call it the Information Superhighway these days.

Mirror in the bathroom
Please talk free
We don't need national
Security
Can I take you to a restaurant that's got flash tables
You can eat your well-done steak with ketchup

Eh, the Christian fundamentalist has a madonna-whore complex. Shocking.

Jack Antonoff? What has Anton done for ME lately?

Assholes are hot dogs? I knew it.

#OscarsSoMulticellular

I recently quit drinking (sigh) and that's about how much Diet Coke I'm putting away at the moment. So if GWB is anything like me, I'd say he quit drinking about two weeks before taking office.

Well now you mention it, I suppose it could have been a swift-AAAAAAaaaaa….

I think so.