A million stars for this.

Who’da thought telling half the base to go fuck themselves would backfire?

No, it’s the DNC that fucked this up. Every single poll showed that Clinton would either lose or barely squeak by against Trump, and they still chose to push her forward as the candidate. Now, they and their sycophants are throwing blame around, unwilling to accept and admit to their own grievous mistakes.

*psst* Obama didn’t bail out the banks.

Well, our “left” decided to run the most hated candidate in the party’s history - against all polling and logic, I might add - and now, a fascist ball of belly button lint may win the presidency as a result.

I’ve been saying it for months: “Never underestimate Hillary Clinton’s ability to motivate people to vote. Against her.”

They eventually gave up trying and just photoshopped him in.

Damn it, Life in Aggro, why do you have to be so brutally honest!?

Crab bucket mentality. If crabs could just cooperate for a few minutes, they could easily help each other to escape. But since they’re all too busy dragging each other down, they all get cooked and eaten.

This one time, I told myself that I had friends and people who cared about me. After I spent a week in the ICU - unsure whether I would even survive - with no visits, phone calls, or even texts, I was a bit taken aback. After nobody even attempted to contact me in the six months of recovery after that, I realized I…

They mishandled it by not bringing the National Guard to bear against domestic terrorists.

I assume they’re made in one of the US protectorates that allow sweat shops. That way, it’s still horrifically unethical, plus he can legally put a “Made in the US” sticker on them.

That’s a good point. As has frequently been the case with Trump, he lost a ton of someone else’s money.

The fact that that line came from White Power Bill is just too perfect.

I was thinking “best cowboy name”, but you make a great case.

“He didn’t grope those women. Besides, he groped them 30 years ago, so everybody needs to get over it. Also, they were the ones who groped him. But none of that is even true anyway. Plus, Killary is evil because of how vicious she is, and Trump - A.K.A. Jesus 3*- is perfect because of how vicious he is. He’s totally…

I believe he is alleging that these women were not groped, but were in fact groping the hands of that golden Adonis known as Donald Trump with their sinful lady bits.

Wait, I thought the plagues were supposed to get increasingly bad over time. Shouldn’t that third one be the grand finale?

To be fair, he had to have been a billionaire at some point in order to have lost that billion dollars in a single year.

Ladies and gentlemen, the GOP in a nutshell.