I thought the same thing. Fruity drinks taste good, but they give me a massive hangover and have too many damn calories, so I stick with plain whiskey... and then I get ohhs and ahhs of admiration because I'm drinking a "man drink" and I fricking HATE the implication that I'm cooler just because I ordered a guy thing.…

So, for a little while in college I worked in mouse lab (I know, I know, Ima monster), and the studies we did were about alcohol consumption in male and female mice. There is a type of mouse that can be bred to enjoy alcohol, meaning it will drink it voluntarily. I learned many bizarre facts about these boozey mice,…

I ate two pot brownies once, and had trouble getting up off the porch...then my friend told me to snap the fuck out of it, so I got up and made a huge pot of macaroni and cheese.

Well I will not give out details to respect her privacy, but I am facebook friends with people who go to Malias school and lets just say she is in their prom photos. It's white lace and she looks lovely. :)

I should probably be ashamed but I really love that dress.

My father is a 6'6" 61-year-old woodworker and a self-proclaimed feminist. It IS possible, Pharrell.

That wouldn't be bad, but infinitely better would be 10 hours of Alison singing along to "Bitch" as she drives home from banging her best friend's husband. #TeamAlison

Back it up.

I want to see a tv show entirely of Helena eating.

Ok, this is something you don't see that much- someone who looks like she's really actually having fun on the red carpet. It makes me want to be there.

Probably for exposure. The contestants walk out with professional photos that they can shop around to agencies rather than having to either pay a huge amount of money for them or use low-quality photos, plus they have at least a little experience with what will be expected of them. I'm convinced that most of them just…

My two most favorite pairs of jeans ever are Jessica Simpson brand. And I hate myself for that. But seriously, fit perfectly, are very flattering, and are plus sized. Oh, and nice quality. One pair I've had for about 7 years.

Where's my 10%?

I'm on it right now, and I just counted how many times the package warns against pregnancy: 12.

Yes, the timing of the vaccines is roughly around the time when you'd start noticing several sorts of autism in children. Just like how I could blame dementia on heart medication, because my grandparents and parents showed mental decline right after having to start taking the serious stuff.

Not all food.

I like to call mine Buzz. Since that's what it does.

I like to refer to my life partner as my slam piece. Or, in more formal situations, I refer to him as mah boo.