I’m 46 and I give myself a thorough trimming just about every Friday. Then I call my wife and remind her to pick up some booze on her way home from work.

It’s more fun to go off the side of the boat and then run and tell your friends to “come look, there’s a fish!” and then they run over and they look at your poo.

A gold medal is a gold medal, but having announcers explain what the Swaney Statute is every two years, in sport after sport, is priceless.

But that is the issue. 60% of what she did was sitting at a keyboard. She’d check the list of a minor FIS event to see if the number of entrants was less than 30, if so she’d book airfare, show up and spend 2 minutes on her “sport”.

Yes. German Madrazo. However here are some key differences:

So thirsty she spent three years globe-trotting to get layed by some Olympic athletes. I hope the only dick she gets is from the Mario curling guy

She french fries the entire way down. I watched three times just to be sure. Doesn’t pizza even once. This woman should be on a stamp.

That guy did have to break a sweat though. This lady had gravity (and frequent flier miles) do all the work.

Trynna get the whole pipe

Yo, what are you talking about? She makes it all the way up to the blue line five out of six times, doesn’t fall down, SKIS BACKWARDS, and doesn’t degrade herself or her country with showboating theatrics. Just good, clean skiing. Give this woman the Gold medal for efficiency and self respect.

Since the American team is, well, good, she initially competed for her mother’s native Venezuela, before switching her allegiance and representing Hungary...

They are cousins though. And France is the home of Les Cousins Dangereux.

She stated that she started to feel the costume falling apart, and “I prayed.”

“Yea babe, I’ve gotta go....train.”

I’ll bet you’re a goddamned delight in person.

This is a genuinely cool moment, no cynicism required. Reminds me of the Kenyan cross country skier Philip Boit finishing last in the 1o KM event in 1998. The winner, Bjorn Daehlie, told the officials to postpone the medal ceremony until Boit finished, and greeted him at the finish line. Boit later named one of his…

“Hey, who was the Mexican who finished last?”

Triplet toddlers? Yeah, I’d take up long distance cross-country skiing too.

You would know about things that are very.....very little.

He was her employer. On the other hand, you are dumb.