We all will, given the whole, you know, heat death of the universe thing.

Probably wishes he could tongue Tom brady.

Seriously. I rarely advocate violence against children, but that smug little no-longer-15-year-old needs to be thrown into a wood chipper

“Up next we have Mikey from Jamaica Plain and he thinks everyone hates Tom Brady because they’re actually gay. Go ahead Mikey.”

It’s Pennsylvania. Very restrictive ABC state. You can’t even buy a case of beer in a convenience store, let alone liquor.

So you’ve never been to a gas station in PA before. Shut the fuck up.

It’s PA. Restrictive booze laws. So no liquor at a gas station.

Reasons why the owner of this store will be fine:

This is so sad to see. No choice but to ship off my son to live with his aunt and uncle (who live in Bel Air).

Alright, I’m going to try not to fly off the handle here, but regarding your thoughts that pooping out your dick wouldn’t be such a bad thing.....

And for the aspiring theologian, you can find that passage in the Gospel according to St. Richard, Chapter 6, Verse 9

What I took from the game was that it was the first game during these playoffs that the Patriots were called for an offensive penalty. That’s two full games where the referees didn’t call ONE penalty on the offense. There are penalties on almost every play in every game by every team, however it took two full games…

Wow...as a lifelong Philly fan...it hurts so much that you aren’t with us.

“NO NO NO NO” - 19 year old hotel employee, 2003
“YES!” - Kobe Bryant

Kobe’s *NO NO NO NO* when that pass was in the air is just too real...I just KNEW Gronk was going to catch it, somehow.

you’d definitely have seen butler get far more use if they were the old england patriots

Tom Brady: somehow the one white guy on the Pats who *can’t* catch a pass

“Yes they deserved to die and I hope they burn in Hell!”