Unless it's destroying your joints, there's no way running every day is going to be an unhealthy habit.

Man, all those activities sound boring as shit.

Don't sprain your hand clutching those pearls so tightly.

Tootsie's in Miami Gardens and Scarlett's in Hallandale Beach in South Florida!

$50,000 seats? Jeez, it's either feast or famine with the Irish.

+1 shot attempt while on the ice.

All I hear is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm being oppressed.

"Here Johnny, have a Snickers."

You lost me at "watch 10 minutes of this shitty youtube video."

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA did you get your "doctorate" of chiropractic from the University of Phoenix?????

Man I've never wanted to inject someone with smallpox SO MUCH.

You know you've made it when you're in the VIP section of a minor league hockey game.

Fuck all those tips. Take 5-10 mg of melatonin before you want to go to sleep. Problem solved.

I like your style.

Counterpoint: Breakfast food is delicious!

I don't know if I could even identify a Skittle as "green" nowadays, after they switched out lime for fucking apple.

From aNew York Times piece on how the Giants prepare balls for Eli Manning:

Funny, for me that one thing is always masturbation.

With all the French names out there I'm surprised it took so long for them to give up fighting.

Dorian's the best character in the game, can't really blame you.