This checks off a lot of the above boxes. Full disclosure my dad owns it, but it’s a real small operation not BIG SUNSCREEN: https://www.amazon.com/Z-Blok-Stick-Sunscreen/dp/B01C6HBFBC

We just say Nick Foles.

I’m going to go ahead and advise athletes to keep their mouths shut.

You forgot his middle name: Runaround

wanted to take his son to get baptized