I have never purchased a box of tissues for myself because I ALREADY HAVE 20-METRIC-FUCKTONS-OF-COSTCO-PURCHASED-TOILET-PAPER-IN-MY-APARTMENT-AND-THERE-IS-NO-NEED-TO-BUY-ANOTHER-PAPER-PRODUCT-TO-GET-RID-OF-SNOT

The other day I witnessed a mother grabbing her (13 year old?) son by the front of his shirt and saying "don't you EVER do that again" for being snotty to the cashier at a coffee shop.

Then you're tone deaf. It's a complete rip-off.

Making a cat dance for one's life partner goes beyond the physical realm of pleasure. Slightly lifting a cat to a semi standing position and wiggling it to music is the most intimate experience two humans can share.

Get a bucket with a top (empty plastic cat litter tubs work really well) and scoop it into that. Use a liner. Empty and replace the liner whenever it's not freezing.

oh yeah. By "zit popping", I meant watched all sorts of horrifying cyst, abscess, milia removal, blackhead close up videos.

How many fucking times must a woman ask to be left alone before people will listen?

I thought the book was very important in that it portrayed innocence against deep hatred and racism, among other things. Too bad you think it is stupid.

The title of the song is Amazing Cat.

I'm in the grays so probably this won't get read, but saying there is no test for viability isn't true (and I say this as a pro-choice doctor). There are lots of tests for viability, which routinely get used when a doctor is making the decision whether or not to deliver a preterm baby—for instance, in the case of…

Also, my boyfriend constantly makes fun of me for not liking hot dogs when he has literally written off an entire continent's worth of food (Asia).

Not my wedding, but my parent's.

My ex MiL decided that our low-key wedding just "wouldn't do." She went as far as to print her own set of invitations to the wedding and send them to people we didn't invite...about 50 of them. She went to the florist behind our backs and changed the types and colors of the flowers (which we discovered by accident…

Oh I also forgot:

My mother. Who took the opportunity during her toast to give my bride my bronzed baby shoes, saying "This is all I have left to give to you of my Gregory. The rest you've already taken for yourself"

I put glitter eyeshadow and lipstick on this Godzilla hand puppet that I still have. I've since tried to remove all the makeup safely but to no avail. Hey, even kaiju have the right to feel beautiful, right? :'(

I "dyed" my dolls hair red using lipstick. I was so upset when my Mom took her away after she found smudges of red all over the bathroom.

Know what else I'm being? Correct.

So he outright ripped off an old, famous image he'd seen online?

Hi. You're being an asshole.