You need all the stars. That was a roller coaster of a story. Also, I hope you get all the dicks you could ever use.

I’m crying like a baby. I’m so sorry he’s gone. I’m glad you got to love him for as long as you did.

Honestly, that’s how most nights with my partner end. We live together, but really we’ve had sex less often since we’ve moved in together. Maybe twice/week, which is fine. But we absolutely have to snuggle all the time. I can’t sleep without touching him. That ‘other side of the bed thing’ is foreign to me. I usually…

For me, it gives me flashbacks to 3rd/4th grade when my teacher would play Smash Mouth during clean-up time.

Hey now, I went to see a Smash Mouth concert maybe 4 years ago. I enjoyed it. But it was free and I had just eaten a pot cookie so those things may have had something to do with it.

154.5 more miles than I could do.

This is why along with my difficult life goals, I also set goals like “walk on a giant floor piano” and “sleep in a bounce house” which I actually can and have achieved.

That’s more than I’ve completed most of my dreams, tbh.

друга?

What kind of synesthesia do you have? It’s always been really fascinating to me, and I’m like 90% sure it’s a large part of why a friend of mine has relatively easily learned at least 10 languages (words and sounds have colors for him), while just becoming bilingual was a huge struggle for me.

That is so gross. I’ve actually caught bouquets twice without realizing putting the garter on the bouquet catcher is tradition. Thank god, I would have been pissed.

I feel bad just for having watched it now. Poor lady.

I could not give less of a fuck if friends screwed while sleeping over. Hell, I’ve still got a bunch of condoms hanging out in my living room that were part of a (kind of) gag gift. Go nuts, guests.

Well I’m 24 but basically an 80 year old woman... so uh... could you explain it to me?

Yes, absolutely. Where I work we always give the couple a ‘bridal box’ filled with stuff like biscotti, chocolate covered strawberries, and other small tasty shelf stable things so that they can actually eat something after they leave the venue.

Nah, I feel you. Although they can be great, big boobs are also problematic in a lot of ways. But, ya know, you can’t really complain about it because everyone just sees it as a humble brag.

One of those girls is going to write a memoir in 15-20 years about this whole thing.

*it being the knife, not the cake

We have very large knives and soak it in very hot water between slices.

I really hope they don’t try to do that to you, but I kind of love the image I’m getting of a fancy bride incapacitating a guy.