So, I actually have no idea how to invest money. I’m scared of the stock market and sure things like certificates of deposit don’t pay out that well. How the heck can I double my money in 5 years?!

I would skip it. It made me feel that sort of nauseous apprehensive kind of sick. But then I also have a long history of getting stoned/drunk out of my mind so I could pretend like I enjoyed sex with someone who had no concept of what consent meant so... I don’t handle that sort of thing well. There are several…

I just bring home fuck tons of flowers from my catering job. I get to the point that I run out of space to put them, so I start to give them to basically anyone I see walking outside my house.

My mom was one of those parents. She told me I’d get abducted and raped if I ever walked anywhere alone since I was... 4 or 5? One day at 16 I decided to walk the two miles to my dance class. She followed me in her car.

My reaction as well. It’s... a bit awkward but holy hell no one should be fucking jailed for it.

That has more to do with your own health than how well your blood would do in others. Tachycardia (pulse above 100) is a symptom of several things that would make it a bad idea to donate blood. I’ve been turned away for this reason several times as well (although for whole blood, not plasma). Best I can say is don’t…

Vierzehn zu viel.

Semi-related, but I’m going to mention it because I’m still pissed.

Well then I’d have to toss it a few inches above my head and catch it myself because I am destined to have 20 cats.

And yet Flint is still the #1 most dangerous city in the US. Our mall doesn’t allow unaccompanied minors after 5pm and there are gang fights in the parking lot of Chuck E Cheese. *raises a glass* To my childhood.

Holy crap. I would have freaked out and maybe broken the door down. For what it is worth, any form of restraint in a medical setting is illegal without a doctor’s script. Not that it was a medical setting, but locking you in a room in a real doctor’s office/hospital would totally give you grounds to sue.

Not to mention hella dangerous for the mom.

All the better to sniff you with, my dear.

I was bar tending a wedding last summer when the bouquet flew right over the heads of the women and landed in my hands, behind my bar.

I cater a ton of weddings and ones with candy buffets always make me wish I was a guest instead. They’re pretty and delicious and I want in on that.

Hopefully she learns. She’s maybe 19 and studying at a major university to be an engineer where a large proportion of the students are Asian so the opportunity is definitely there now if it didn’t exist in whatever small town she is from.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Panda Express. It’s great as far as fast food goes, but it is hardly representative of all Asian dishes.

There are actually a lot of good sushi places around where I live in Michigan, but you’re right on the Chinese food. The only ‘authentic’ Chinese I’ve had in the midwest was in Chinatown in Chicago.

I had a coworker who claimed she did not like any Asian food. I have no doubt that the only ‘Asian food’ she’s tried is Panda Express.

Allergies can be weird. I’m allergic to certain glues, including Elmer’s glue. I know that it is water soluble and kid friendly and all that shit, but it makes my epidermis slough off (not just the glue that is fun to peel off your fingers as a kid, but actually my skin). I have also reacted to having stickers on my…