Ben Carson scored chud points with his “stabbed a guy but his belt buckle got in the way” story.

Salad

Booby trap 

*puts on goggles*

He publicly opposed the Iraq invasion before it happened. 

471 yards and he's talking about Watson

More like a bloated, sun-baked, used condom after sitting on the pavement for months. 

Ann Coulter’s column about the wall is actually pretty hilarious and worth a read.

Mustang or GTI?

Sick car brah

North Carolina recently sentenced 20 immigrants to federal prison for inadvertently voting illegally. 

How are they not in prison? While permanent residents who lived here for decades go to federal prison for inadvertently voting illegally. 

Force them to craft, build and run a shelter for LGBTQ youths. 

It's not easy when MY DICK IS ON FIRE

Not true but agree in spirit. 

She planned to party like its her birthday and I called the police on her birthday

15 year old mistress

“Nebraska is far less cloudy than I remember”.