Myself included, at least several people are terrified of Sammy Sosa these days.

Fortunately, most drug lords are also surprisingly bad at their job...

You could turn your question around and ask, what kind of drug kingpin would trust the murder of his wife’s lover on some random bunch of doofuses?

In the sense that the Smollett case ultimately ended up with him seeming to be simultaneously guilty and innocent, no, nothing can top that. In the sense that David Ortiz is about to be revealed to be somehow intricately involved in some kind of international geopolitical conspiracy out of a 90s Bond movie, yeah, I…

The NY Post said that it was related to Ortiz having an affair with a drug lord’s wife and while I’m loathe to give the Post any sort of journalistic credit, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were true here. Why the hell else would 6-10 people agree to split such a piddly amount of money to try to kill maybe the most…

“The Surgeon”

Juan Wick.

Because his video game company basically robbed the state 

Man, John Wick 7 is awful.

It’s a lock that this story is going to get weirder before it gets normaler. 

I certainly wouldn’t have left ‘The Surgeon’ sitting in the bullpen. That’s a closer if I ever saw one.

You get what you pay for.

Everyone’s an armchair assassin.

And in a crowded building under camera surveillance, in a block crammed with traffic, in a downtown area!

The master plan of six to ten people was to have one guy walk up to Ortiz and shoot him in the back?

So we have six amateurs who planned to rob Ortiz and the first step in the master plan was to shoot him in the back in front of 100 people and then run away.

Those clowns hired the wrong guy for the job. Everybody knows who the best designated hitter is.

Went better than I expected

Holy fuck - that would be what is expected out of a bunch of fucking Americans but we (Canadians) most definitely didn’t fucking cheer when he was hurt. Seeing as I was courtside for this game, you can kindly go fuck yourself.

It sure as shit sounded like they were cheering.