He should be fine.  Resident Evil taught me that all wounds should be treated with herbs. 

Oh for fuck’s sake - these people have been running victory laps for close to a month now over Cheeto’s “total exoneration.” Now, they’re worried that there might be bad news in the report? Typical crooks - it’s only a crime if you get caught.

But the absolute cruelest thing a pitcher can do is smoke three guys with one 99 mph fastball.

Svechnikov is roughly my size. Granted, I’m not a professional hockey player, but you couldn’t get me to fight Ovi with a fucking gun to my head. He’s enormous, uninjurable, and insane. I guess we all make bad decisions when we’re young.

If hockey truly wants to grow beyond it’s niche status (and is serious about safety), they would get rid of this. It isn’t even that hard - just eject the participants and suspend repeat/egregious offenders, like every other sport. You do this in baseball, football, or basketball and you get more than 5 minutes of…

Jalopnik Community Hivemind Car-Buying Rules:

This is the vehicle I’d pick to drive in Deathrace 2000, but not pink.

You know what was awesome about Paul Pierce? Kevin Garnett.

My favorite part of this article is the description “former Washington Wizard.” 

“If it weren’t for the banks all of you are representing, Main Street America as we know it today would not exist.”

I get it, man. Waiting on lab results is a harrowing experience. 

A Ferrari collection?

When my mom was 17 she was in a protracted legal battle with a cop who charged her after he clearly slammed into the back of her car due to inattention. Took until the 4th judge to look at it and charge the cop with the accident, but even he didn’t charge the cop with anything in regards to lying to cover his own ass.…

NYPD is probably the only police force I can think of that’s hated more than CPD, and for very good reason. So when a cop runs a red light while doing a wheelie and crashes? You bet I’m laughing. That’s definitely a squid if I’ve ever seen one. lol

I think he looked, but didn’t clutch.

The only thing this video is missing is a bus t-boning the moron.

Judging from the way he released the clutch, max RPM, dump clutch, idle. I’d say he’s never ridden a bike before in his life, 2, or 4 stoke.

“Why is this guy celebrating that someone got hurt? Especially a police officer?”

Don’t worry, the silver car will be cited with failure to yield to an emergency vehicle, and the black car, well it’s a black car so they’ll probably just plant some crack on it.