Always loved that Calvin and Hobbes and was finally able to use that line when my son asked me the same question. My wife said, “Really”?

Here’s the problem- while those of us with triple digit IQs read stories like this and weep for the future of humanity, the window licker in question isn’t losing a bit of sleep over it.

You’ve never driven an interstate on the east coast?

A 20+ ton vehicle...what’s that, like a couple hundred pounds?

The Patriots also lost to the Jets, and also no one fucking cares about the Patriots on an article about the Cardinals.

Lemme guess. Patriots fan?

I found her CDL Instructor.....

The check cleared.

Cheer up, Mistah Kylo—WHO’S YOUR FRIEND WHO LIKES TO PLAY??

And people claim these are dumb jocks. Smartest guy on the field.

Why is mike tyson taking hgh?

Everyone plays better when they leave the Bears.

Not losing sleep does not equal hiring crisis manager.

Does anyone even care of it is true? The guy is almost 40 and still playing in the league, just a few years after he had his spine glued back together.

That makes it a someone-elsie

I had never heard that story about Rickey wanting to give everyone full playoff shares until a few weeks ago.

Rickey and I share this birthday. Often, when I give my ID to religions clerks they will say something like “Someone very special was born that day.”

He's popular because the people who believe him are high? I could see that.

He’s not on the verge of the dark side. When we meet him he’s killing innocents and channeling his rage. He’s tempted by the light side but he’s already on the Dark side.

I’ve always used this tactic and through many job interviews throughout my life never received a red flag until last year. It wasn’t even a red flag, it was more like a fire engine chasing me out of the interview. These two things happened in this order, and honestly on the second one I had already decided it was a…