I had all these stereotyped views of Texas before I moved there, and I found Houston a perfectly lovely place to live (if the weather sucked a little bit). Low cost of living, great food scene, friendly people. I try to stick up for Houston whenever necessary.

I've spent about . . .zero hours in the panhandle.

If Colonel Mustard is coming out, it probably means you're dead and he killed you in the library with the candlestick.

It's never entered my mind as a place I'd want to visit - but if I happened to find myself there, I'd go for some blue crabs, and try to catch a game at Camden Yards. Um, I'm not sure what else to do - maybe go look for Frank Sobotka?

Shit, I might just go downstairs and buy a pack. (I'm in Beijing right now)

Franklin's is my #1 - and I've been all over Hill Country and Houston and Austin.

"For another pit sandwich and potato salad, I'll go a few more"

You say that as if I haven't spent 36 degree 85% humidity days sitting over weird little grills in Repulse Bay trying to cook chicken wings while Filipina domestic helpers play boomboxes with Matchbox 20 and OPM (Originial Pilipino Music) around me.

From what I can tell, it's you and me against the world.

Your oven uses smoke and indirect heat?

I want my baby back baby back baby back . . .

Man, you can't get content this good everywhere. It's steep, but it'll be worth it.

Do you have a daily option?

This is what I learned grill is over flame and direct heat, barbecue is smoke and indirect heat. I mean who am I to turn down ribs or pulled pork or chopped pork because it's not brisket or sausage. Nor will I turn down different ideas about sauce - tell how you eat it locally and I'll try it. This is the freedom…

I'm a Californian so obviously my opinions on barbecue are suspect, but I spent just under 5 years in Texas so I must have learned something - at the very least the difference between grilling and barbecue, but I also learned that when a Southerner says they have a way to cook meat and it tastes good, I should just…

I eat lots of things - but I have a decent list of NOPE: fresh celery (if it's cooked until soft in soup or stuffing, it's fine), bitter melon/squash (IT'S IN THE NAME), durian and liver (although, oddly, I love liverwurst and liver sausage)

I run a large tent for all types of barbecue. Bring me your white sauce smoked chicken, North Alabamians, I shall try it.

I'm watching this on my Nokia 3310.

Technicalities!

"Tell Me More"