This how I deal with life in 2017.

Dude was sitting in an Italian jail. Supposedly visited China and didn't even mention chopsticks in his book? Not once? FAKE NEWS

Defense argument - all noodles are Chinese, even Italian ones. If you believe Chinese people.

I've moved to Beijing for the summer - it's already way hotter than where I was (in Shanghai). I will be destroying bowls of sesame noodles (and even better, the ones made from cellophane noodles)

*Puts on oversized Cross Colours baseball jersey backwards*
25 years later, it's no longer oversized.

Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you’ve got a stew going.

Girls think sexy.

One never knows where life might take them. I thought I was moving to HK for 3 years, stayed 6. I thought I'd never move back to Asia, have been here more than a decade again. I thought I'd never live in Texas, lived there 4.

It's here: http://www.smartshanghai.co…

he IS Donald Trump

Solve several problems and throw THEM into the sea instead.

I could really kill for a Cadre Cola.

I hope we kept the receipt.

There's been an economic argument and scholarship for eliminating corporate and income taxes, and instead generating revenue through a progressive (protecting lower income earners) consumption tax. Not saying I believe in this or that it's a viable solution, but there are some economists who lean that way. And our…

If we're making America great again, and sending our values back to 1950, the top effective tax rate for high earners was in the 70 percentile region (depending on who you read)

You always were an asshole, Gamera.

Don't want to sound like a d!ck or nothing, but it says on your chart that you're fuck3d up. Ah, you talk like a f@g, and your shit's all 'tarded

Also the National Park Service

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.…

Man, we could really use that thing that the Winter Soldier shot at Nick Fury's car that skated along the ground and then attached itself to Fury's car and flipped it over.