Yeah, I just finished Peacemaker, and Cena was fantastic. He’s a mountain, sure, but he never let that affect his ability to get into the character and be vulnerable when he needed to be.

That just makes me think of the funny scene in Jumanji where he has a moment to himself and keeps repeating, ‘Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.’

Got that right. It’s when Johnson steps out of Beige Shirt Guy mode that he’s most entertaining. Reynolds never seems to step out of Smug Prick mode. Ever.

Absolutely. It’s become a bit of a comfort zone thing for Dwayne and every other actor who just keeps shitting out the same performance and character over and over, usually based on how they look. Ryan Reynolds never plays anyone besides Ryan Reynolds, either.

I remember when that spot was filled by Gina Carano.

Have you talked to any kids these days? They’re fucking lunatics.

Oh, don’t get me wrong - there are many problems with these shit movies that will end up on the burning garbage pile of easily digestible and needless pap that gets rammed down our throats on a daily basis and passed off as art, but yes, needlessly advertising tequila in the lobby of what is essentially a family movie…

I’m not sure I agree. The schtick may be the same, but Cena shows genuine acting chops in between all the silliness. Dwayne just acts like Dwayne, and has done nothing but that for years. In fact, he’s far better when he drops the tough guy bullshit and tries to be funny, like in ‘Get Smart’ or as the teenaged twerp…

That may be true, but I wonder if that clause would’ve continued to be honored had Black Adam been brought into the DCU (or whatever the fuck it’s called now). I doubt the WB brass or James Gunn would’ve allowed that to happen just because he’s Dwayne Johnson. I just don’t think he carries that much weight anymore,…

Just the fact that Dwayne’s movie contracts have a ‘I can’t lose’ clause built into them tells me who the real candyass is.

Lighten up, Francis.

I figure Greta Gerwig is only making it so that she and Noah Baumbach can get their next pretentious shitfest greenlit. Good god, ‘White Noise’ was terrible.

That’s fine. All the Nazis who fled Germany after WWII should never have been able to take their uniforms off, either.

And a binge watch of ‘You’.

He’s quite good in Glass Onion, too. He and John Cena seem to be the only former wrestlers-turned-actors who have an actual interest in, you know, acting well.

I watched Peacemaker recently, and it occurred to me that John Cena is far better an actor than Dwayne. Like, far. He’s come a long way since his days of ‘put me in a movie about a Marine or something because I’m huge’. He’s clearly taken some acting classes. Dwayne Johnson wouldn’t take an acting class if the teacher…

No one’s driving their children to a Hollywood premiere. Yeah, just gonna go drop the kids off on the red carpet! Back in a minute! Might stop off for a tequila afterward! Come on.

WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF HENRY CAVILL?!

I’d settle for the slow, lingering kiss they clearly want to give each other.

We’re all fairly certain you haven’t done any work today anyway.