Settle down, Ted Turner.

Well, at least you chose to immediately go on the internet and get needlessly upset about it. Always the best choice no matter what the topic.

Don’t sell yourself short! I bet you’re not exciting or interesting for any reason at all.

I wasn’t sure if I was watching Atlanta or a particularly great episode of ‘Documentary Now!’

It’s okay. I’m sure there are lots of things you don’t understand.

There is no try. Only (Brawn)do.

You flatter me so.

You’re either too young or too dumb to realize how much of a compliment that is, but regardless, everything about you has been disappointing. I’m sure your actual dad feels the same way.

Not offended, just bored. Was that all the dim flickering candle inside your skull could manage, or were you just that excited about seeing your very own words on a screen?

The beverages are clearly going to be called Brawndo.

Wow, what an in-depth analysis. Did you write this doctoral thesis yourself? Or did you just copy this low-effort bullshit straight from Reddit while sitting on the toilet?

I know plenty of rich people. They don’t act like this.

May a mighty wave of the cancerAIDS inflict ye and your kin from this day forth, good sir.

He must’ve hit traffic coming out from under his bridge.

I just think the word ‘assholes’ works fine without having to revert to tired cliches. Star Wars assholes come from many a corner. Especially these days.

I wish it WAS John Houseman. I miss that man.

I was thinking that maybe he meets K2SO in prison, but I think it’s been said by the producers that the two don’t meet up until the second season. That would be kinda cool, though. Similar to how young Han met Chewie in ‘Solo’.

My very first thought.

Arrested development? I have a house, a car, a wife, a job, and a stepdaughter. I pay taxes. I vote. I do boring adult shit all goddamn day long. I also love Star Wars more than probably anything else in the world (the wife and the stepdaughter come close). Spare me the ‘arrested development’ crap, and enough with the…

Yeah, and shoot the whole thing in a broom closet at midnight with the lens cap on! DARKER DARKER DARKER!