Social whales? Is that some kind of game developer in-joke?

Monte Cook would make a better Lord of Torment.

It only won because Model M wasn't an option.

There's a difference between difficulty that's satisfying when you overcome it, and Ninja Gaiden-style having a bird swoop out as you try to jump over the bottomless pit. I get the feeling that the WiiU version is the latter.

I thought I was the only one pronouncing it that way.

Dan is what you get when you use the Imitater on Ken.

I was thinking the same thing. The last time they released a Final Fantasy that I actually enjoyed, she probably wasn't old enough to read.

Is one of the games a flight sim where you fly an astral plane?

Almost everything, Sega had the first (and still the best) analog shoulder buttons.

Investments give a return on your money. Kickstarter is more like patronage.

Look at the bright side, now you can shave your head and cosplay as Minsc.

It's certainly effective at directing an incoming blade at your sternum.

One-eyed man with a moustache?

In that case, never play Tetris obsessively. Soul-crushing dreams where the blocks keep falling and you can never win.

To be fair, Super Star Wars was not a sequel. It's also arguably one of the best games on this list.

Cool, but when you said "breaks" I was hoping for something more akin to Bobby Tables.

Wow, she's stacked.

That's about $1.50 per hour, and it's good if you're into JRPGs, so I would consider it at that price. Another way to look at it is that I bought Final Fantasy 6 when it was new, and in inflation-adjusted dollars, it was about as much as this is.

I'll show you the power...

There's no way my son costs me over $50 grand a year, and even if he did, he's totally worth it.