Donald Trump’s primary hiring requirement: look like you’re from central casting. Cohen embodies the role of shitty mob lawyer/snitch.

Kind of unavoidable. He might be operating under the ‘Jr. is a middle-aged moron fetus’ excuse though.

Because when you’re a white-collar scumbag, you need a scumbag lawyer to cover shit up for you. Problem is, if you’re gonna retain a scumbag as legal counsel, you should have enough sense to appease that scumbag instead of treating that scumbag like...well, a scumbag. Otherwise, don’t be surprised when your scumbag…

I know! That was my first reaction - he threw Jr straight under that bus, quick! I mean it’s probably a reflex anyway.

You know DTjr isn’t even talking to anyone on that phone...

That is a second count of witness tampering. The first was his Tweet about how Comey better hope he (tRump) doesn’t have any tapes. Best part about that one is it’s an attempt to influence testimony and the prosecutor doesn’t have to prove whether it was to make Comey tell the truth or lie. 

He must be forgetting that the FBI raided Cohen’s home and office before he rolled on him. The taxi thing would be small potatoes, next to the other crimes they’ve can prove Cohen committed for and/or with Trump.

He just looks like a snitch in a straight to VHS mob movie lol. Why would anyone trust him?

Wait until he sees this...

I tried to make sense of the taxi medallion thing this morning but chalked it up to standard weirdo NY corruption.

Sounds to me like he just threatened to go public about some possible crime his lawyer committed if his lawyer didn’t shut up.

Is it me or did he just throw Jr under the bus there?

Seriously. It’s like standing in front of Niagara Falls and trying to block the view. from someone.

As someone who occasionally buys gas station hot dogs, I want to be mad... but they’re not a good choice, and I should be shamed for them.

Cohen is as much of a snake as the president, but he’s a snake who could potentially bring down the president. So in this case, by default, he’s become the good snake—America’s snake!

Sounds to me like he just added witness tampering to Mueller’s list.

How could an investigator be looking at these totally public comments I made that contradict me??? That's not fairrrrrrrr!

Read Jones’ words carefully three times fast and sit back and watch as a satchel filled with cotton magically appears amongst your back.

It’s Friday, so you know that means that the president of people who buy hotdogs at gas stations is rage-tweeting again.