Fuck fuck fuck fuck. I'm a preschool teacher and I spend my day cleaning up poop and urine. I spend my day redirecting children and using wit that I didn't even know was possible. I talk about my job at bars and with my partner. I use free time to think of tactics to try my best to suit every one of my children's…

Don't beat yourself up about it. I think we have all been in an argument on here - it is not fun!

BringerofthePain gets easily pissed.

How do you know other people were present? That's even more terrible.

Haha, I feel the same when people sing to me.

Hilarious. That's a big-ass genuine smile, too.

Wow, sounds like you have to start hiding your keys from your cat.

Well, no, because the interviewer asked if that felt annoying (Madonna's admittance of the songs sounding similar) and she said no, it feels reductive.

Definitely! Unnatural chipmunk voices.

Everyone is making me want to go to Laurelhurst tonight!

Oh wow, that's incredible!

Our species would.

Laurel hurst is playing Raising Arizona right now! Not to rub it in. Portland misses you too, I'm sure. :)

Y'all can make fun of Portland and hipsters all you want, but we have $3 second run movie theatres ALL over this city and I will not apologize for it. They also serve cheap, good microbrews but honestly, that just makes me spend a quarter of the movie in the bathroom.

She probably said that she has already directed him in some small budget private films. Ahem.

I'll have to see Friends With Benefits. I thought this movie was just fine for what I needed: a way to turn my hungover brain off. Mindy Kaling was awesome. I also really liked Lake Bell's character. She was also in an episode of The New Girl!

Oh my god, I JUST finished watching that movie on Netflix.

I thought this article was exceptionally funny. I'm glad someone else mentioned it.

Totally. And also, how is she going to be able to make money right now?

Holy shit, it was hilarious to see "DINGLE" written on a hot air balloon.