Oh man, the Satanic Temple is doing so much awesome work these days to combat religious fuckery.

Give No Fucks Obama is my favorite Obama.

Ok wow, I hadn’t heard about any of that! I just thought of him as a funny, quirky old dude.

Except...he’s Bill Murray? I mean my dad is 65 too and def looks younger than Bill Murry and while he’s a great guy and a catch and all that, my dad does not have the personality of BILL MURRAY. Come on.

Well, filling out the whole form is a bit clinical, tbh. mr. perdue and I married in CA, so we were Party 1 and Party 2 or whatever and I was just kind of enamored with the newness of anyone being able to use this form, regardless of gender, so it didn’t bother me. But I admit I could give a shit anyway about being…

Ok, but why do the hetero couples get nice warm fuzzy words and the same-sex couples don’t? I mean, if your argument is that you find “Party A” and “Party B” cold and impersonal, then why not forms that are “Bride” and “Groom”, but also ones where both fields are labeled “Bride” or “Groom”? Or, for the purpose of…

Right there with you. I’m hoping to buy in the valley. We can make the valley hip, right?

Agreed. I wish the costume consisted of a regi;ar (ugh, sexy, I guess) rat costume and a much larger pizza, maybe like a pizza print cape (like all of that pepperoni pizza bedding the kids have today?) taht you could drape or otherwise carry?

You can pry my bangs from my cold, dead, enormous forehead! And no, I look nothing like Zooey Deschanel, but I would go head to head with her in a bangs-off ANY day. Bangs 4 lyfe.

This is some clickbait fo sho. You rock those bangs! I have had bangs and no-bangs and hot damn I look 550% better with bangs, it’s science.

Well played. I want all of the shoes in this video. Give me them.

If only that’s all his brother had done after 9/11 though, instead of used it as a pretense for two wars.

I just refuse to buy bangles that aren’t hinged, anymore. True story, I was in my friend’s Indian wedding and I was wearing a saree and I had all this gorgoeous jewelry, but the bride’s mom brought me this huge stack of bangles to put on and I took one look at them and my wide hands and thought “no way in hell”. I…

To be fair it’s also their business model. How do you afford eleventy billion kids without a reality show?

Stunning! I would wear that today with zero alteration. I actually am in possession of my mom’s wedding dress, but sadly it is from the 1970s and well, while adorable on her back then with her hippie chic, to say it’s “not my style” is the understatement of the century.

But the Ulta points expire, so if you don’t shop there super often (for instance, because they don’t have your favorite brand), you lose out. I wish the Sephora points could be redeemed in the form of a discount, for sure, which they have actually done once before, but at least i HAVE the points forever.

Truth. If Ulta sold NARS, I would be 887% more likely to shop there often.

We are the same. I said to mr. perdue, I am only wearing one fucking ring so it needs to be a good one. The low profile of those old timey rings was perfect—mine never gets caught on anything and it is comfortable to wear. I don’t mind solitaires per se, but it’s nice to have something a little more interesting to…

Guilty as charged. Vintage ring (c. 1930) with many small diamonds for moi.

I just dyed my hair Emma Stone red (so like a deeper red) and I have no fucking clue what to do with my eyebrows (which are light brown). I’m used to penciling them in with a darker shade, since my previous hair color was dark brown, but my initial foray into redder shades (at Target, to be fair) yielded nothing. I…