I’ll have you know I only married the first one because he had a good job running airboats. It’s not my fault he left me for one of those tourist ladies. Number 2 had a bath salts problem and no matter how many times I dunked him in the tub it never got better. Number 3 left to join the circus. I knew I shouldn’t have…

The sad part is that he’s not the biggest clown in that crowded little car. He is more accepting of progressive taxation than most of his Republican rivals who accept the party’s trickle-down orthodoxy. Despite his foot-in-mouth sexism, he has not threatened to take away women’s reproductive rights like Huckabee or…

Seriously, he sounds like he’s running for junior high class president with the amount of ridiculous things he is promising. “I promise, if I win, homework will be optional, tests will be scored by a friend of your choosing, lunches will be catered by Per Se and school will only be three days per week.”

Ladybrain overworked?

“Everybody’s taking our jobs!”

We can ship them out on planes, great planes, huge planes, I have lots of planes and I know what to get. The plane guys, they respect me. I can work with them. Right now, we don’t have that.

I think it’s so we can enjoy the commenters’ endless supply of creative and insulting descriptors, ie. fermented sausage.

A great wall! And not too expensive. Thank god, you guys.

:/ Why do we keep reporting on this fermented sausage? He’s a broken record with a song that only ever had one note to begin with. We KNOW what he’s gonna say, and we KNOW it’ll be horrible.

Slap a cover on that and sell the ebook on amazon. That is erotic fanfic gold right there.

you don’t get to make decisions like this for a dead person