(heavy Gen-X sigh) Even if it counted it wouldn’t have counted

Well, they -were- down 21-3 to the Bengals’ 1st team with no discernible offense or ability to defend a simple screen pass, but I look forward to their practice squad dominating.

But what if they BUILT A BUNCH OF HOUSES IN PLACES WHERE PEOPLE NEED HOUSING PRICES TO DROP SO THAT THEY CAN GET HOUSES.

I wonder if a young Michael Crichton visited DisneyLand and was thrown from the Dumbo ride or something, given his recurring “theme park goes to shit” theme in Westworld/Jurassic Park.

Same thing happened with Color Me Badd in 1991. Karl Marx in writing The Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Napoleon must have had this in mind when talking about history repeating as tragedy and farce.

Don’t even get me started on all the dubious gameplay and elastic rules found in Ben Hebert’s Competition Curling ‘17 from EA-Canada. It is to laugh.

What’s this got to do with the VMAs?

Replace with Jody Watley and Dan Hartman and it might start to make sense. Ah who am I kidding, this is a farce that makes the coke-soaked graft-fest known as the Golden Globes blush.

1987 called, it wants its conceit back

What, a bus?

I mean who will be able to forget his last article posted live from a Bengals tailgate party: Watch An Adult Eat Skyline Chili For The First Time Ever

I mean, who says the preseason doesn’t matter?

Jedd Gyorko sounds like a character invented by a early 20th century satirist to lampoon the simple Hungarians.

“This is why we can’t have nice needful things”

Unfortunately payable in pesos, which is still a step up from Internet Recognition Fun Bucks.

At this point, the Walkin’ Dude taking control of Las Vegas would be a step up in terms of governance.

Randy Bullock gets a game with the Giants before they bring back the domestic abuser, but even he hasn’t lost half a foot to the diabeetus.

My food’s breath smells like food food.

This is what happens when an evil piece of shit dreamed up by Stephen King in one of his 288 novels somehow comes to life and governs a state.

Next up: Mother’s Day