Well that all sounds reasonable. Does sound like you both could have avoided the whole thing by acknowledging in the beginning that sex is unimportant to you and important to him, but I know that things in life don’t always work out so neatly. I never suggested breaking up just because of the sex (although, yes, for…

Well I’m not sure if you are asexual or not. If you are, then yes you can select that on OKC. Regardless, if you do not enjoy sex, it’s important to tell your partners that. What you are talking about here makes it sound more like you have desire that fluctuates within the parameters of a relationship, in which case…

That's not a coincidence. It's an entirely separate matter. Moreover, I'm not the one insulting people or telling people to shut up. I'm freely giving opinions about interesting topics online which is what people do online. I'm doing it in a polite and civil way, which is what some of us do online.

I’ve repeatedly agreed with you. I’ve just said that it’s selfish if you don’t tell the person that from the beginning. Beyond that, yes you are well within your rights to ask for whatever you want. But I think that you will find that it is going to complicate all your future relationships unless you date people who…

I think you might be under the impression that you aren't on an Internet chat board? Time for a quick reality check.

You keep reading things into what I said. I don’t know anything about your relationship. What I said is that you need to tell the other person up front that you have no interest in sex. Perhaps you did that, in which case, shame on that boy for resenting you for something that you told him up front that you would not…

That’s one explanation, the others are ED or religiously induced, paralyzing hang-ups. I used to think that a man who wanted to take it slow was being ‘romantic;’ I was disillusioned of that idea young and the anecdotal evidence of friends supports that take. Test drive early, ladies.

BTW, it’s not his/her problem in a relationship. It's a shared problem and both people are at fault.

If you don’t like sex and are sure that’s something you accept about yourself, then it makes no sense to have maintenance sex with someone. Don’t do it. Just take it off the table in the beginning and find someone who wants a relationship with you but sex with others- up front. Those people do exist. But you have to…

The problem is, men use intimacy to get sex and women use sex to get intimacy.

Oh I see you are the plague person. You’ve turned what I said on its head. No one is forcing you to do anything against your wishes. That would be terrible. But if YOU pursue a relationship with someone who has natural sexual desire and expect them to give that up because you don’t like sex, then yes, that would be…

Logic. Ha ha you are absolutely correct. There is no way she’s willfully being his beard.

Why? "Avoid like the plague" is pretty harsh language. I suppose some people really are asexual, OK. But my guess is that they don't seek out long relationships with people who desperately want to jump their bones. If so, that's really fucking selfish.

Just curious though, who are these lots of people and what reasons do they have? I mean, I know a lot of people who avoid certain things (casual sex, unprotected sex, sex while nursing after you've just had a baby because god knows you don't want another fucking creature using your body just then, etc) but I do not…

You know you don’t have to go without sex until you’re married to avoid having children and contracting STDs, right? Despite our country’s shitty Abstinence Only sex education (assuming you’re in the US), some of us are still smart enough to figure out how a condom and birth control works.

Or...they are annoying supposedly religious people who only believe that P in V is sex and are hand-jobbing, blowing, and analing their nights away.

You seem terribly offended at the suggestion that someone might be gay. I guess you find gay people offensive.

From what I understand he cheated on his ex-wife quite a bit and decided to (after talking to god) remain abstinent. I’m not a very religious person, but I give him kudos for that.

Yes, I, an out gay man, am very homophobic. You’re adorable.

but most people don’t make such a public spectacle about not having sex