That was my first razor too, but in like 1996!

Right? Bill Hader is the same kind of oddly attractive, interesting and funny person. I think they could both get it. I mean if I was not married....mmmm

When i was 21, a boyfriend got me a years subscription to Maxim magazine because i had once said i’d ‘prefer reading Maxim over Cosmo or Glamour in a doctor’s office’. He said, ‘..women were so confusing and demanding’ when i was dumbfounded that he’d buy me that as a gift.

moderately attractive, fair-minded youngish heterosexual dude

This is so true! I met a guy online recently and his profile didn’t have a picture but he said he was ‘attractive, in good shape’ and when he sent me his photo I almost gagged. But obviously I said ‘you have a nice smile’ and probably went on to confirm his belief that he’s attractive.

This is covered in an episode of Louis C. K., where the fat girl points out that the really handsome guys never mind when she flirts with them, but the guys who are themselves fat, or insecure about their looks, feel the need to put a lot of distance between themselves and the fat girl.

Where is the nopetopus when I need it?

So there was this study a while back that showed that women tend to see themselves as X% less attractive and heavier than they are and men tend to see themselves as X% more attractive and thinner. I think this story completely supports this study.

Oh geez, he is gross. So gross. If I saw him at the bar, my body would go into instant creep alert mode. And he is not youngish. He is old, period.

It's a tale as old as time: women always think they look worse than they do, and men always think they look better than they do.

It’s like Christopher Walken’s heavier, not-as-lucky brother who watches a lot of TV.

And he calls himself

I kind of get it. I wouldn't want my husband to see the physical toll incarceration would take on me. Not because I'm particularly vain (about most things) but because I think it would be upsetting for him. But he's also a super delicate flower...

I have a friend (really) who did 90 days in a Federal camp last year. She told her boyfriend that she was coming out on a Wednesday. She had me pick her up on Tuesday, take her to get her hair colored, eyebrows waxed, a facial and Botox. We stayed in a hotel near the camp that night. The next day she changed back into…

Yeh, just reading how he speaks? He’s a fuckin stupid young kid. He should be punished, obviously, but not to the extent of a 27 year old. No way.

Plenty of people come back from being shithead 15 year olds. With the right guidance.

This is Kardashian level strobing. it’s almost like he knew there was a photo in his near future.

I am not sure I can look entirely past his age here. It’s fully possible that he’s been groomed and used by two adults to act as a lure on their behalf, whether he realizes that or not.

He’s 15-year-old little fuckass, so he’s never actually seen a pair, but he sure would like everyone to think he did. He probably describes them as “bags of sand”, too.

Titties AND boobies! That's the life.

Fernandez was released to his mother and required to wear an ankle monitor.