Every ATV owner I’ve ever met says how terribly safe they are yet also has a ‘totally fluke not normal CRAZY freak accident’ story about someone they know (or themselves) being horribly and permanently injured while riding an ATV. They are barely safe for adults yet people pop kids on them as young as 5 years old.…

I have always had a soft spot for the elderly and senile, but I’d let him tumble down stairs so quickly his head would spin.

9 weeks and horrified. That’s just ONE baby. Imagine two. Those babies are going to wreckshop on Beyoncé.

You’re supposed to let kids finish your game? Is that a real thing?

Not to mention the fear that you’ll watch your child die, or worse, to feel worry that your child will outlive you and be without your protection and support.

There is a part of my narrow ass basement I’ve only visited once...I could totally see never going down there. Especially if the door was ‘jammed’ or ‘locked to keep kids safe’. Now, if I had a larger basement and a missing child and a husband who kept bringing strange children home I think I would be a little…

What the fuck.

I was told I didn’t need wisdom teeth removal only to find out in my mid 20's that I absolutely did, only now they had fully grown in and needed to be chipped out piece by tiny horrendous piece...funny side note, I realized something was wrong becaus whilst flossing I looked in the back of my mouth and saw what I…

When I was 18 or 19 years old I was almost run off the road by a man in his late 30's. When I saw him dismissively gesture and shout at me I lost it. Even though I’m tiny as fuck (and have never been in a fight in my life) I (apparently) vaulted out of my window, ran to his car, climbed through his window, unlocked…

I grew up around a shit ton of guns. Like so many that they no longer stand out and just become scenery. I even live with a few now as an adult...I think the biggest difference between ‘gun people’ is people who have them for a purpose (hunting, law enforcement, military service, brokering, etc.) and the dipshits who…

My dad used to be a pretty staunch republican, and it’s been the bane of his existence that all his children turned out to been liberal and progressive (professionally and personally). But even he can’t with the modern party...I love my dad, and I think he’s a decent person (and a pretty good father), but if I was…

My husband took Chantax for three months. During the last two he went from a bubbly affectionate goofball to a cold automaton. Nothing made him happy, nothing felt good, tasted good, sounded good. He basically just survived without any joy or excitement.

I call my mom’s best friend on a few holidays. Partially because she was best friends with my mom for 50 years (they grew up together) and partially because she’s like a second mom to me...I don’t know how close Vin and Paul truly were, but I can *kind* of see it?

Sometimes I think it’s worse if you DONT like the person.

My husband ‘sort of’ met Tom Hanks once. He sold his son a cell phone (basically Tom was buying and approving the plan for Colin, I think? Way back in the mid to late 90's?). He said Tom seemed super nice and like a ‘cool dad’.

This might doxx me to some of you but I had a theory that they’d find a huge walled encampment, totally well maintained like a thriving city with almost a full military guard. Most of the season will be spent trying to scout and figure out how this city could possibly exist.

I’d give a pass for a throaty or tearful shudder when reporting a 9/11 level attack or Kennedy style assassination, but even then, reign it in a bit.

My mom died the night before we left for our honeymoon. I got a call expecting the usual ‘we love you and we know you’re an adult but call us the second you land!’ shtick and got my dad crying incomprehensibly instead. It was surreal.

Both my dad and I look younger than our ages, but even so, he took me to get my eyes dilated (because I couldn’t see) and the dr asked him if he was ‘ready to pick up his wife’. My dad freaked out.

My very first job required me to spend hours on the phone walking callers through filing certain forms. One of my frequent callers was from Ireland. Unbeknownst to me I was mimicking her accent by the end of the call.