Not a cake disaster (necessarily)...but after cake was served I had to get up and talk to the Dj about a song my mom wanted. When I came back to the table my cake was gone. The waitstaff cleared it away thinking I was done. I hadn't even taken a bite.

I’ve known some pretty fucking horrible stoners (some pretty cool stoners too), lowering the inhibitions of a dick doesn’t make him any better to deal with, it just makes him care less what happens.

Yanked out her own IUD? I....what....but...what?

No! Thank god. The crazy seemed to wear off at the end of the baby’s first year. She's my normal sane friend again, just with a kid.

She attempted a home water birth with a midwife. I could see how a water birth might help lower the odds of tearing, but she still had issues.

She flirted with going anti vax but luckily came to her senses after deciding a dead baby was worse than (insert any and all vax fear here) baby.

I know an episiotomy was a big fear in my friend’s case, but she did say after that she would have preferred it to the tear she ended up with. It was pretty awful from what I hear.

I wasn’t impressed with the midwife but I do think a lot of the delay was my friend. She hates feeling like a ‘quitter’. She probably needed someone as forceful as she is.

I live in one of the poorest and shittiest cities in America and that stuff is in all of our hospitals. Since at least 2001...Jesus. I’ve gone to way too many of my friend’s labors.

Because that’s not what Rikki Lake says.

My normally rational best friend lost her fucking mind when she was pregnant. Wanted an ‘orgasmic’ drug free home birth with an elaborate post pregnancy placenta eating ritual etc. This is the same woman who curled into a ball and cried (at least once that I know of) when a ‘super absorbancy’ tampon hurt too much to…

I’m not a ‘wedding’ person either but my mom and husband really liked the idea. My logic is (at least for many women I know) that this is a dress, hairstyle, day that they have spent an extraordinary amount of time and money on, maybe even dreamed about for years. Sometimes very specifically. Which isn’t my bag, but I…

My understanding is that airhorns in close proximity can be crazy painful to people wearing hearing aids or using an implant.

I just had a falling out with a friend because I told her it was kind of cruel, embarrassing for the graduate, rude to all attendees, and very painful for those who require a hearing aid for her to bring and use an airhorn. She was incredibly offended by my statement. Brought an airhorn, used the airhorn despite…

Obviously he's never seen Point Break.

Isn’t that kind of gun 101? Don’t point it unless you want to kill? I say this in all honesty and as a woman who grew up with and owns guns.

I was invited to a Christmas ‘thing’ (that turned out to be a huge house party) by one of my past interns. I left pretty early because it wasn’t my scene and because he seemed horrified when I mentioned I was at least 10 years older than everyone there.

I *think* their logic is if the girls were sleeping they didn’t know what was wrong therefore no *real* harm or trauma could be done? The news reporting it is what ‘victimizes’ the girls.

Jackin’ it to Jesus takes on a new meaning in this family.

I forgot about the Torklesons! I wish I could star you twice. I'd star you so hard.