Except they’re actually Bushphones.

I have had enough with my gooners.

I like the black and white ads that used to say ‘Marry and Reproduce’ and ‘Consume’. I miss our alien overlords. They were better at this than the orange cheeto.

So they’re still paying for the plans and they get a flip phone worth 5 bucks on the open market. OBAMAPHONES TOOK MAH JOB!

free cellphones, huh? So you’re one of those people.

5 dollar coffee? Check.

Blaming liberal disdain for the reason rural america voted for self-immolation is just reinforcing the disdain. What a stupid reason to set your house on fire.

Funny how nobody but the ultra rich seem to benefit from being ‘the world’s largest economy’. And having the world’s largest military is nothing a good christian should ever be proud of.

Oh cool because war is cool, amirite?

What’s the deal with one person posting on 4 different accounts? It a echo chamber for himself.

Limousine liberals. Seriously? Care to complain about how this gun-lovin’ venison jerk makin’ liberal likes lattes and Subarus?

As a former rugger myself, I wouldn’t want that cheap shot artist ion my team, let alone an opposing one. People like that always ALWAYS cause injuries whether it be in a collapsed scrum or cracking a collarbone or concussion from leading with the knee.

The TSA confiscated my Leatherman and socket set and sold them at open auction. The socket set was forcibly broken up and separated, and each socket from the biggest to the tiniest 1/8 was set immediately to work, wresting and wrenching loose stubborn bolts in sweaty dirty shops across the US.

We as a nation are dumb, hateful (left and right), cowardly, infotainment addled and incapable of accepting even the slightest bit of responsibility for our actions at home or worldwide. In that sense I can think of no more accurate president to represent us than Donald Trump.

You don’t get to blame libs anymore. You’ve got the white house, the senate and soon the supreme court as well as over 30 state gov’ts. When shit fails, when unemployment rises (but the stock market does great), When Putin invades the Ukraine, when we get bombed, when working conditions and safety deteriorate in the…

Imagine how disappointed all these guys like Rick Perry are going to be the first time they order ‘Pizza’ from Comet Pizza only to find out it doesn’t come with a young boy to molest.

What about the rest of my statement? We picked someone with an immobile disapproval rating over 50%. That’s a recipe for failure. We picked someone so deeply in bed with the rats on wall street she wouldn’t release her transcripts. It’s not like this is coming out after the fact. Many of us were yelling these warning…

We in the DNC nominated a person with over 50% disapproval ratings and was a completely known quantity and literally red meat to the right. Stop acting like we got jobbed. This was absolutely the outcome we should have been expecting.

To put it in context we ran the only candidate who was so wildly unpopular she…

I was in the same shitty Austin bar with Roger Clemens when he found out he won another Cy Young award. Of course that comes with a fuck ton of monetary bonuses for him. Asshole announces it and then asks who is going to buy him a drink.

You should just leave facebook. It’s infiltrated and passing your information on to the gov. If you think something Peter Thiel owns won’t be used in nasty, nefarious ways against you, you’re a fucking fool.