A guy once followed me and kept shoving his phone in my face demanding I give him my number. This went on for like five minutes of my walk. Eventually I grabbed it, went to the "mom" contact and threatened to call her. He hightailed it very quickly.

The moment at which you start screaming and hurling swears at an employee is the moment at which you deserve absolutely no sympathy or understanding whatsoever.

I'm just going to share this story from last Saturday. A good money-making night- the restaurant is packed, we're trying to turn over tables. Of course half of them are fucking campers. So when another 8 top of 40 something year olds roll in, I'm begging my manager to give them to me. Bright eyed and with an imaginary…

The customer is always right! If they tell you to grill it until it's tender, you grill that shit until its fucking tender, asshole!

P.S. You really should take up eating meat again. Millions of people starve to death every day and would gladly trade places with you.

Yes. And I only eat wild chicken, too.

"Just do it like Starbucks!@!@!!#ONE!" UGH I had these asshats when I worked at Scientist Brothers Bagel Factory. You want Starbucks, GO THERE! I wanted to say that all the time.

Obviously the steak fajitas had not been grilled enough. The longer you grill them, the more tender they become. Look it up.

But are you allergic to crunchy?

I want a goddamn coffee latte in a goddamn monogrammed thermos right now!!!! And God help you if there's any red in there because I'm allergic to red!

Dude, I made a dozen blueberry muffins this morning, and we're down to 4. They've only been in existence for like, a few hours, and we're only two people.

I'm dealing with some shit. A friend and I are on the outs and I need help.

I started out with a really nasty cough, sore throat and a fever that spiked to 101.4. I thought I just had a bad cold, but then I coughed up green stuff with specks of blood in it and it spread to both of my eyes. So I have a bacterial respiratory infection and bacterial conjuctivitus. My eyes are clearing up, but…

I was put ON birth control for the first time in 7 years and...

For a week, i have trying to deal with my dads family. They are batshit insane, coco for coco puffs crazy. And not a fun crazy, like nasty crazy. They're trying to give my dad a heart attack from stress crazy.

I'll shout from way down in the greys, why not.

Dammit. I meant to mention that the furnace repaired itself in some way (It was the thermostat itself and nothing to do with the furnace). Good thing too because 1. I just drained two separate bank accounts repairing the furnace in the first place and 2. I am now going to need money to repair a brake line. Wheeeee!

What a fucking week I have been having! I had a flat tire last Saturday, it was finally fixed on Wednesday. So, from Sat-Wed I walked to the dollar store for odds and ends of food because the major run to the actual grocery store was a bit daunting. On Tuesday, Miss Big Foot skipped one class by sitting in the…