And there's absolutely no one named Crystal Metheny, so this can't qualify as overly Florida.

Now, now, let's not be hasty. I'm sure with targeted therapy, we can get a negative margin and retain some function.

Holy crap! That GIF is amazeballs! Wherever did you find it?

I rate this only a 0.75 Florida. There isn't enough drinking, nakedness, or police chases.

NO. No. Just no.

And now, OMG, wahwahwah, she's changed her Yelp user name. Apparently without knowing that changing your name doesn't change the fact that your old reviews are still linked to your new name. And apparently she thinks the only people that read Kitchenette are servers - didn't notice the "jezebel" address, I guess. Man,…

'hello you don't appear to have paid your mortgage this month'
'it's okay. there was an incident at the restaurant but somebody Apologized Nicely, so you can take that.'
'that's not legal currency, ma'am.'
'oh.'
'maybe you should get a better job.'
'I'll definitely do that. I'll just go up to the Job Tree, where they post…

I'm also extremely skeptical at the idea that they "apologized nicely" to the waitress.

Interestingly, Miranda contacted me again and said that the reason he was told there was no manager was that the actual managers WERE out of the restaurant, and since the server was new, she didn't realize that in cases such as that, the bartender can function as a de facto manager. So their server wasn't lying to…

You do realize I get paid to write on the internet, right? Like...this is my job? They pay me for this? It's AWESOME, thanks. But lol, have fun being a horrible human being and eventually dying unloved and alone, your last breath a desperate cry for someone, anyone to care about you. Lemme know how that works out for…

1. Tips are part of the cost of the meal, just as compensation for employees is a part of every single retail transaction. This is even specifically legally the case, as restaurants are typically allowed to not compensate servers at minimum wage.

You. Are. Garbage.

...wouldn't be tipping for the meal and apologized nicely to the server for that.

You used a damn Groupon at a nice restaurant and treated people like garbage at their job. That's pretty much all I'll ever need to know about how vile of a person you are.

My experience is that the more someone proclaims they "have a life" that involves "better things to do" than argue an issue they're making an ass of themselves over - and yet is taking the time away from that busy other-thinging existence to inform us of all this? Nope, they actually don't.

One time I worked at a restaurant with a patio. It had a bee problem, some of the servers were allergic to bees, so it was shut down. The hostess had a brain fart and sat one table outside. After that, the servers were like "the next table you try to seat outside, we will fucking kill you."

Food is delicious. Service is retarded. ***** the hostess should be fired. The restaurant was deserted and we had a Reservation. She would not seat us in a booth and said that it was for parties of 3 only. We waited as we saw only couples of 2 being seated there for the next hour. We left no tip.

Sometimes I feel that people like this go into a place LOOKING to make a federal case out of some small slight. All that agita over a seating arrangement and on top of it they had a $50 Groupon. They weren't going to be good customers anyway. The repugnant and repeated use of "retarded" as an insult makes me think…