When I was about 8 or 9 I saw the incredibly hokey Salute Your Shorts episode with Zeke the Plumber. It was so ridiculous. Zeke has his nose bitten off by a parrot, which makes him the perfect plumber. Until he hits a gas line, can’t smell it, and lights a match. His spirit haunted the campers of Awawana.

Ugh you guys. I really wanted to march today but I’ve been having health issues and just wasn’t up for it today, energy-wise. I know I can only do as much as I can do, but I really needed something like this to remind me that so many of us are resisting this demented walrus. That’s my pity party — thanks for…