You’re probably right. They have these flights in Orlando too. I guess most cities probably do. I look at these metal stressed little choppers that look like they’re held together with duct tape and I think, ‘Nope. Don’t think so.’

Did you ever try educating any of these men who are so bad in bed? Give them one single clue as to what you would like or what you don’t like? If the answer is no, aren’t you at least partially to blame for your bad sex life? How come you didn’t say ‘No’ to the guy who wanted sex after your 16 hour shift? How come you…

I don’t know who you are or where you live, but if most of the men you know think this is what sex is, you live in a really fucked up area and you know a lot of really fucked up men. I feel sorry for you. Most men do not feel this way.

How about tethering some balloons in Central Park and giving some balloon sightseeing rides?

You do realize, of course, that UCF has already declared itself the winner of the 2018 NCAAs because they probably beat somebody good at least once this year.

Stupid question here I guess, but was there no way to put the craft down over land instead of water? I’ve spoken with people who have flown copters before and they’ve told me that as long as the blades are still spinning, you do have some limited control over the craft even if there is no power.

So what did the guy who got shoved do? Did he get hurt? Did he deck the guy who shoved him? Don’t you think this story is a little incomplete?

I’m sorry but I just can’t take any of this e-sports bullshit seriously. Full-contact tiddly winks is more of a sport than any e-sports thing is. Promote the shit out of it on kotaku, but it doesn’t belong on the pages of deadspin.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. How is he ever going to put food on the table to feed his family on a slave wage of ONLY $12 million/year? My asshole bleeds for him.

The only fun thing about golf and Tiger Woods is watching him lose.

Philly. Nobody likes us. We don’t care.

Like the NFL (or any sports league for that matter) has never had any gay players. “OMG!!! I might have to get naked in a locker room with a gay guy!!!! What if he jumps on me?!!!!!” Get over it already.

I would tell those teams “Don’t draft me. You people are fucked in the head and I don’t want to play for you. How do you feel about that?”

We’re talking about Florida here. You have a better chance of being arrested for making an illegal lane change in Florida than you do for committing any sort of act of violence.

Question for all of you soccer heads out there. I see where the MLS season has just started. Not that I care, but didn’t the MLS season just end like 3 weeks ago? Do they just play and play and play with one season drifting into the next or what? How come it takes 8 months to play 34 games? Is soccer such a physically…

What a weak ass pussy! He gets hurt standing there?! He did nothing and nobody touched him! And he’s hurt so badly that all he can do is drop to the ground and grab his leg?! Gregory Campbell of the Boston Bruins continued to play AFTER BREAKING HIS LEG blocking a slap shot!

Isn’t it about time for someone to please liquidate the damn NBA? Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the NBA made up of a small handful of teams that might have a chance to win and the rest are all tanking? An NBA game reminds me of that South Park episode where the kids were playing baseball and desperately trying to…

I don’t know about that. If you ask a potential player “What is bitcoin?” and he answers “I don’t know, but I’m going to buy a shitload of it with my first paycheck” you’ll know that he is a player to avoid.

Dateline: Yesterday

You would think he was talking about defending the nuclear launch codes. C’mon man! You’re a fuckin’ football coach! In the grand scheme of the world, is there anything more USELESS than a football coach?! The janitor has a more important job than the football coach does! Don’t believe me? What will change in your…