Most of them have only been Cubs fans since July or so.

Oh YEAH? I heard that Hillary FORCED Chelsea to suck on her breasts for YEARS.

Title Nein

You, sir, are a horrible, horrible person. And you have my envy.

As a final fitting tribute to the punter, the family gives up possessions.

I’M SCREAMING

Counterpoint: Balaji tweets dumber things on a regular basis.

Literally the SpaceX of harmonicas.

I think they got laid and you’re jealous

How is this surprising? She has a British identical twin!!!

Your Copa América semifinalists:

I was 13.

Burying the lead here, was AJ getting the car detailed to remove evidence!!!

At least OJ went 2-2 from the floor (allegedly).

You’re being chased by 100 cops, your life is over, you may be facing the electric chair. Maybe you just want a temporary respite from losing everything you ever had by listening to someone having an even worse day in John Fucking Starks go 2-18 from the floor.

A strong argument for the people who believe that white people shouldn’t say “woke”?

Luckily all of the mosquitoes around the Marlins stadium have already been driven out by an even bigger bloodsucker, Jeffrey Loria.

Could we get a pro baseball team in Milwaukee?

I feel like I was the only one who noticed that about Sturridge. Not the cool, collected demeanor and trademark dance. Just raw exuberance. Anyone who questions his attitude or commitment just needs to see that celebration.

Especially played by a dread-wearing white guy