As a perma-grey who leaves decent comments...............no.

Or a Lelo or JimmyJane, but not likely.

Shrayber is cuter than either of these spray-tanned tool sheds. Exhibit A looks like he never shuts up about the stuff he did when he was vice prez of his frat, and Exhibit B looks like a rejected bouncer from a Russian mafia-owned strip joint.

I am convinced that no one is actually reading the Bible. They certainly don't seem to remember the part where Jesus hung out with prostitutes and lepers because those are the people the "good" religious people rejected from society. They definitely don't remember Jesus protecting a woman from being stoned to death bc…

This. I was raised Catholic and went to a Jesuit run university. The importance of social justice has been repeatedly drilled into me. I honestly don't why understand people, especially people who are otherwise incredibly vocal about their religion, bad mouth social justice. I feel that if Jesus were alive and kicking…

In the late Pleistocene, when I was a freshman in high school (all girls, Catholic), our sex ed was a year long program taught by a retired Army nurse who would answer ANY question about ANYTHING. She had seen it all, hon, and she wasn't embarrassed or ashamed of the good old human body and its various functions and…

I don't understand the pearl clutching about social justice

Yeah, maybe go easy on the ADD diagnoses, Sigmund, thanks.

Sorry, but no one beats an order I took as a Bartender. Can I get a Virgin Scotch on the rocks?

No. You should not. Being an excellent cook is about 10% of being a successful chef. The rest is being able to thrive in a thoroughly fuck-up environment.

I do... I always do.

i do the dull 'yaaaay' from this and no one ever fucking gets it

I really wasn't planning to do another Terrible Customer Stories entry any time soon,

and i would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked 4,349 to fall down at your door gasping "please marry me, i am so desperate for attention"

Maybe I will come to your country and fuck all your bread!

It's the result of Kim's fake eyelashes falling off and becoming sentient.

And then, naked wrestling.

Why do the people in these videos never wear gloves or even attempt basic wound hygiene? The whole genre screams "septicemia."

I'm watching this through my fingers and my urgent question, which I just screamed aloud to anyone who will listen (potential audience: husband, 2 cats, maybe a ghost), is WHY DON'T THEY SHOW THE EMPTY HOLE AT THE END? THAT'S OBVIOUSLY THE BEST BIT.

I wonder if poor Mitch ever got to see their giant metallic fireworks-on-a-stick cousins.