I had a shake weight enthusiast give me a hand job once. She placed her hand on my penis and did nothing. After an uncomfortable silence she told me, "This is the part where you shake." To which I replied, "You've got your causation backwards."

His aura is sexy. Pretty in Pink? Yes please! Secretary? YES! The Blacklist? YES, don't care!

Yeah, this very same thing happened to me once! I mean, I totally used to be 18 and now I'm almost 35! Inconceivable!

If you could get cut by doing that particular face and upper arm combo I would be Charles Atlas. Charles Atlas? Y'all don't even know who that is do you. Fuck that goon is old.

I love how we've ended up culturally worshiping the country that was our overlord and enemy and forever mocking the one that bankrupted itself to help us out against said enemy.

Ha, not exactly—I was just kind of bewildered by the operating procedures of the mega-rich. Like, if they're paying to send him to that school I just assumed that they were on board with the horrible materialist culture going on there.

It's okay, I would have spilled my ham sandwich on him and still offered to clean it up.

I love how the article about "Hollywood sex parties" does not in any way acknowledge that someone might go to a "sex party" because they want to.
If I've guessed the actress they're referring to correctly, I don't like her, but I've never doubted the sincerity of her past interest in S&M.
I'm sure there are people who…

I was going to comment "back door's always unlocked" but then I thought about it and... maybe? HELLO.

What is a "face bra"?

JUNIOR HIGH POETRY IS NEVER OKAY.

Funny - I feel the same about face bras.

Much better than that crap vid above. Thanks!

Here, this should help.

Seriously, they need shredding music, not that sentimental piano crap.

ugh wtf. Why wasn't that a skate video? the people who promote these girls should really take a cue from skate culture on this one. well edited skate videos with badass music will do much more for these girls than a lame slideshow.

I could not care less about LiLo, but the mere mention of an all-night, sober karaoke and chain smoking binge actually, physically, makes me feel like hurling. The cigarette stank and nicotine buzz unallyed by alcohol...The hours of god-awful MIDI pop accompaniments and loud, out-of-tune singing...The sore throat and…

A puppy-saving fireman is now my gold star boyfriend standard. Good luck, every other man in the world.

"Girl, Interrupted By A Man Who Knows Better"