my sophomore english teacher cleaned the fuck up for her daughter, but, in that instance, no strong-arming was required. just keep cases of cookies in your classroom, and the high schoolers come to you.

honestly, even with the burning shame of knowing i had been found out, the long-term implications of her gift made it completely worth it. she was never great about talking to me about sex (outside of the occasional vaguely-worded warnings about "the heat of the moment"), but that book was one of several clues i got…

jesus, thank you so much. that comment made me so angry, all i could come up with was "bite me."

i'm sorry, but i cannot find it within myself to respond to you civilly.

fucking-a, right?!

i just posted that!!! ahahaha...

i too was a furious lady wanker as a teen ( and let's be honest, as an adult), but when my mom brought me the "it's totally normal" book on masturbation, i thought i would die of embarrassment. she gave it to me without comment, but i was HORRIFIED that she knew what depraved things i had been up to in my room.

jiggle pen. one wouldn't think a child would instinctually search for a vibrator.

oh man, i could see becoming completely helpless in her presence. i fostered a small dog this year, and it took all of my strength and maturity to find another home for her.. rather than keeping her myself. she lived to cuddle and had these little otter paws.. crap. i miss her.

lord.. is it just me or are the assholes out in force this morning?

christ, right?! i couldn't even focus on the jokes... roll out your dough, woman!

volunteer with your local animal shelter, become an animal foster "parent," or both. but beware.. if you are anything like me, you will end up with more pets than you had ever planned on having.

it's amazing.

this is hardly the place for this, but as we can no longer just message other users, it will have to do.

"Let's Send Some Love to Men With Red Hair"

AL-coholic! MES-SIAH!

i was just coming here to say "on behalf of america's bartenders: fucking quit it with the massive pub crawls."

one of my family's most beloved family stories is that of "the giant blue turd." my then five year-old uncle ate a cookie monster cookie (which was 95%blue icing) before visiting my mom's new apartment. he then deposited said blue turd in the toilet and would allow no one to flush it until my mom had seen. it was a…

ah callie.. you're lovely and wonderful, but about once per dirt bag you toss in a comment that makes me feel about 100 years old.

sooo... not THIS special k either then?