I know the NFL rulebook is long and long-winded as fuck, but I did not expect to see the word “disconcert” in it. I interpret this to mean the inside linebackers can’t make eerie howling noises at the opposing center in the hope of making him shit all over himself and his quarterback’s hands.

Stop watching. It’s liberating. The game time is mostly filled with inaction and penalties anyway.

“What’s the Frequency Roger?” — so Michael Stipe can tell Goodell to fuck off too.

Before any Patriots fans comment:

“If they make mistakes, you know, it’s not like they’re professionals. They’re just amateurs. Kids, really. Young, young boys. So young, these boys. Anyway, what were we talking about?”

“This is a picture of my wife taking a load off.”

It may sound cruel, but it doesn’t matter how much “work and effort” you invest in something inherently illegal. I’m active in fanart communities and it is the bottom line. Still, I reckon it will be possible for him to continue doing his thing in non-mainstream spaces.

Of all teams, Penn State should know that shit only stays buried for so long.

Yep. Sounds more like the owners are starting to organize outside Goodell. This is how you force someone out without the spectacle of firing them.

Pipe down, Mr. Kraft.

Thank you, Mr. Kraft. Your limo is outside.

It’s already out.

Truth you can corroborate is a defense in a libel case.

Guy is about to get hit with the biggest libel suit anyone can ever remember.

Yep. Also this.

My favorite part of this story is the part where Huckabee has absolutely no motherfucking idea who Dred Scott was.

And open container laws! Every hour should be beer o’clock

wait, THAT’S HOW IT WORKS? Excellent.

I will not pay my parking ticket then because it’s not right. I don’t believe in parking meters.

Scary how that was just a typical hit. Jesus Christ.