No one anywhere cares what you think about anything.

Yeah, but we don’t trust you.

Joss Whedon is quickly turning into that grumpy, creepy uncle that everyone stays away from. This is coming from a guy that used to idolize him- Now I can’t stand the sight of him. Don’t meet your heroes, kids.

You’re mistaking criticism for cannibalism.

Condolences to his husband, Jack Black.

With all respect to Sean Connery, Ermey should’ve won the Supporting Actor Award that year. I mean, can anyone even name the other four actors nominated that year? Is even Connery’s performance that memorable? Ermey’s was goddamn iconic. So much so that, honestly, I think the Full Metal Jacket really loses something…

Everything about him can be summed up in how he actually got Stanley “137 takes until it’s perfect” Kubrick to let him improvise in every scene.

“In thick patois — I won’t do the voice. Well, I’ll do the voice a little...”

This is how John Mulaney turns a pretty funny joke to begin with into a great joke.

I swear, it’s like you can sniff these posts out from a mile away. Do you have some sort of app that alerts you the moment allegations of sleazy behavior are posted?

He couldn’t quite explain it, it’d always just been there. ♫

Rosario Dawson with a leather jacket and a whip?

Fair enough. If it means getting to look at Hayley on a giant screen for two hours, I’m in.

Indiana Jones, don’t forget, is Dr. Jones, a university professor. Her posh side would work well for the contrast between classroom and field.

I agree about the list being too young, though it did get me thinking: I looked it up, and Harrison Ford was 39 when Raiders came out. That sounded about right, so I did an IMDB search for actors born in 1979, and in skimming the first few dozen names, three jumped out at me: Rosario Dawson, Noomi Rapace, and…

The correct answer is Jessica Chastain. Judy Greer can play her Shortround esque sidekick and Channing Tatum should be an airheaded musclehead who is completely incompetent and needs to get his ass pulled out of the fire repeatedly over the course of the film, he’d also be using his Southern accent from Logan Lucky.

I think they get away with it in the movie because Karen Allen was in her late 20s when they were filming it and (for lack of a better way to put it) seems like a “grownup” in the same way that Harrison Ford does. If they’d cast a 25 year old actress, or an actress who wasn’t able to play the part in the same…

Because he’s fucking better than you

Hayley Atwell would be fantastic!

Their plan to spit-roast Luke, Han, and Chewie just...never mind.

Now that’s a sticky Wicket.