Yeah, see, I feel like I could do almost anything for 5 minutes (I can’t, I’m fat and out of shape and 9 minutes would probably be generous) but what really blows my mind is the elite marathoners. They run under 5 minute miles, over, and over, and over, for 26 fucking miles. That is literally incomprehensible to me.

He really did do a great job at that. Trump too. Tremendous skill. The rest of us suckers just didn’t want it bad enough.

Those jerseys definitely have more than one type of fiber in them.

Like NC State could make it to a bowl game that cool sounding.

They were having a standoff with a dead guy. It was only a standoff in their minds.

And you’re not even a billionaire (I assume). I would be flying around the world sailing yachts and eating the best food and driving fast cars, not working for almost no money in the fucking government if I was a rich as them.

So, obstruction of justice plus murder? Sounds accurate. I’m sure he’ll get a promotion instead.

OMG that would would be awesome. Offsetting penalties and replay the anthem. They both kneel again, and the cycle repeats.

You can have the third string goalie, the Zambonie driver, and this small child. Good luck.

Congratulations, you have infinite times your salary saved.

Their response is essentially, “our product doesn’t explode, but these two pieces of our product could have exploded.”

They’d have a considerable prior works issue to overcome. It’s been around for years.

Giant Meteor is running in the midterms if you’re interested. On the ballot in every single race, since it’s not really on Earth it can claim to live everywhere.

Same reason it’s Grands Prix, not Grand Prixs, other languages don’t always use the same rules. Hell, in German they don’t even use s very often. Sometimes it’s just an umlaut to change to plural.

Staying in character with your name, no worries.

While my third wife is pregnant with my fifth child by three women (would’ve been more, thank God for abortion, amiright?).

Lots of people don’t know that.

Good point. They even got someone, I think Crosby, for a little love tap later in the game that even the announcers thought was weak.

Swoosh. He’s saying he has 130 thousand cars.

Even the league thinks it’ll be hilarious for the caps to lose in 7. Again.