Still younger than Millenial Comic Dan Nainan

This is giving me crazy deja vu, wasn’t this published a few months ago? Was there a different Kinja competitive bagging article I’m remembering?

Bring the Tonka truck out!

I ain’t afraid of no rolly-coaster!

Or you could make that extremely basic inference on your own.

This was the first Onion article that got me hooked and I’ll never forget it: https://local.theonion.com/price-of-penis-shaped-swimming-pool-negotiated-1819566566

The one I saw it at was Sportsbetting.ag, and things held within ten points either way for literally weeks heading up to the fight before a sudden surge on the underdog ten minutes before it started. Watch the odds on this weekend’s card and let me know how many swings those size that you see.

Not to mention the betting line on Cormier dropped from +190 to +145 suddenly right before the match...

Correct and it’s the Twilight Zone marathon, but this is good too.

I’m not doing it, but I think a great bit would be to call up and read off the exact Ron Stallworth call to David Duke from the BlackkKlansman trailer.

I bet $10 on 20 to 1 odds that LeBron’s first regular season game next season was played as a member of the Knicks last December. I really wish I could take that money back.

I think this is the first thing that really made Scooter stick around in my mind: https://sports.vice.com/en_ca/article/xybj9w/what-are-the-most-egregiously-george-lucas-ass-names-in-baseball

I thought there were like 50 people in it rather than 20 and was just going for a glib joke. Whoops!

It was all the guys from The Polyphonic Spree

I can’t think of any who like, lean into it, but I think Norm MacDonald is on the conservative side.

Joel’s my dude, I bought a pack of those in high school and was blown away.

They’ve played each other a lot and there’s mutual bad blood. It’s a one-sided rivalry for sure, but Sharapova still elimintated Serena from a grand slam twice - the 90s Cavaliers never did anything to the 90s Bulls.

With Marc-Andre Fleury in the net, too.

Man, I expected them to have more bottles on hand (or seriously underestimated the demand) when they announced this, I thought I could wait until payday. RIP.

Price is the tiebreaker when it comes to this stuff, and Hamm’s is king there. I’ve been to places where it’s $2 cheaper than any other beer on the menu and the hometown bar of a friend always has dollar Hamm’s drafts available.