I'm fucking dying over here! hahahahahha. Each of these bullet points made me giggle harder than the next. You get alllll the stars!

Your second bullet is a brilliant idea.

I actually thought it would be a fake wedding for social media purposes, so you could skip all the BS about flower arrangements & stuff and just go get hitched at the courthouse. Like, with cardboard cutouts of the bride & groom - which would be kinda hilariously awesome in its own way.

Why stop with just declaring a fertilized egg to be a "living human"? (I think you might want to recheck the definitions of both "living" and "human.")

Not ala carte, you have to get the whole abortionplex package and it is expensive. It's worth it though because they have non stop reruns of Maude and Golden Girls.

It makes "The Super Bowl Shuffle" look like Schindler's List.

If the ritual hellscape eternal doom rescue wedding is affordable (i.e. slightly more expensive than free) then maybe I will get married? People will be required to wear hats, and to have a party piece. Would you mind officiating?

I totally thought it was the photography thing too.

I love that as he says that line the camera pulls out and it is two dudes sitting on a golf cart. Anti-abortion, Pro gay marriage!

I'm still waiting for the video where abortion doctors tell you why steroids are bad.

Shadow puppet wedding = fantastic. I have plans now.

Congrats! You are either

Oddly enough, it only became a moral issue in the 80's, when Jerry Falwell and his cronies started telling everyone it was bad. Until then it was essentially a Catholic position, with some evangelicals going so far as to say quote, "God does not consider the fetus a soul, no matter how far gestation has progressed"

Really? Literally NOTHING in the world is worse than abortion? So, like, genocide and starvation and torture and rape… all of those things are A-OK compared to aborting a clump of fetal tissue?

Paraphrasing here but the most hilarious part of that video is when the older white gentleman (there are many so I can't recall which one) says "And you might say, 'What right do these athletes have to tell women what choices they should make?' And you'd be partly right." Then he provides no further explanation as to…

I also thought wedding for the b-list guests.

I was thinking "Do they marry each others shadows? Are they projected against a screen? That would be fine, I guess?"

I thought they meant a proxy wedding too!

I hear "Bedroom Ants". And I always picture a little line of ants going to steal the chocolate out of my nightstand drawer.

YAAAWWWNN, thats some cute shit and all but that doesn't compare to these kids who can REALLY groove to the music.