I’m still honestly fucking baffled by why I said this, but when I was a freshman in high school, I decided to claim that my parents had been blacklisted by Joseph McCarthy. My parents, who would have been toddlers during McCarthyism and are just normal folks. I told a bunch of people that too. In retrospect, I…

Like many little kids, I was a sugar addict. Like other kids with hippie moms and dads, I was also denied sugar about 360 days out of each year. Santa actually put carob in our stockings, and the Easter Bunny gave us almonds. It was a sad life, but I figured out how to sneak treats when I could, and I got fairly…

When my aunt was out of town, the family dog gets loose and is run over by a car. The dog dies and is buried by my uncle. He made a all of the kids promise to not say anything. They tell her when she gets home the dog ran away. She goes into the woods calling for the dog. My uncle lets her. Everyone in the family…

Once my nana had to babysit me and she doesn’t speak English (and she had no TV) so the day was going by very slow. I was looking around the house and found pepper spray. I did not know it was pepper spray, and I probably didn’t even know that was a thing at that age. Anyways, I thought it was one of those sprays you…

I was one of those kids who is constantly hungry - like, must eat every fifteen minutes hungry. I used to wake up in the middle of the night and binge-eat leftovers because my stomach hurt so badly that I couldn’t get back to sleep without shoveling in food. I blamed it on my sister; my parents bought it even though…

When I was in my early 20's I worked at a summer camp. A mom of one kid in my group was a real pain in the ass. She had already yelled at me once that summer because her kid lost his bathing suit, so when she came asking me for the sweater he was wearing that morning I lied and said I hadn’t seen him wearing a sweater…

I had a FANTASTIC night filled with amazing sex with a guy I met that very night at the Oktoberfest. Yep - young and reckless and it felt perfect.  The next morning, we were laying in bed with that post-sex glow. He whispered, “Bet you don’t even know my name, Marcia”. I said “Of course I do!!!” He said “ And that…

I am the crappiest liar ever. I get all hot in the cheeks, my back stiffens up and I start to sweat on my forehead. It is both hilarious and mortifying. So, I invariably get caught in a lie in the middle of while telling it. Great moment in time at an old girlfriends dinner table (while in high school). Her dad…

I was a latchkey kid. One day when I was about 8 I lost my house key and couldn’t get in, so I tried opening a window. But, because all the windows had screens, the only way I could get traction on the windows to see if they’d open was to cut open the screen. I tried almost all the windows before I found one that…

Yeah, your brother is the Lizard King reborn. Seals it.

Actually, he did have a lizard. Mr. Lizard Man.

Pretty sure you saw a training drill.

The house where I grew up was pretty new - way newer than any of the other houses on the block. A typical one-story ranch house that you might see in any stretch of American suburbia. Likewise, all the furniture in the house was pretty par for the course. My room had a little-kid bed, a nightstand, a table and chairs…

LOL every parent’s dream/nightmare!

Not a ghost story (I don’t think, anyway...) but true and definitely scary at the time. This will for sure dox me.

DYING

Not so much scary, but definitely creepy, and a legendary story in my family.

So basically just our normal Tuesday routine

When I was about twelve, I went snooping through a closet and found photos of a little girl that looked like me, but seemed to have been taken a good 10 years earlier. I took the box to my mom, who told me that we would talk about it later, and to go outside to play. When I brought the pictures up later, she denied I…

My husband and I bought our house about four years ago. We knew at the time that the former owner died in the house, but it didn’t really bother us, as we’re not the type to believe in spiritual things.