My parents were very conservative first generation Italian-Americans. Neither finished high school. Both expected me to stay one until Married. Since I started trying to run away from home at age 7, that wasn’t going to happen! I got to college because they didn’t have to pay much (back in the days of nearly free…

Yep:

I remember, and I’m opening the door for us............

Clip-ins, hair pieces, extensions, wigs even. Or maybe just magic.

I hate to be That Person, but I have to point out that Lupita Nyong’o rocked a buzz cut on the red carpet, like, five years ago. Fierce black women have made very short hair fashionable for a very long time.

I’m considering getting a perm! I’m only halfway joking....someone, please talk me out of it!

The overall peppy-ditzy-basic-bitch tone of this series is proof of Kate’s talent. Kate, I didn’t know you had it in you. I always laugh and get a slight headache every time I read this column. And also:

But then why not tell the truth in the first place? I mean, if he said “this is based on a porcelain work by a well-known artist” I don’t think people would have a problem; making it sound like he found it buried in the wreckage of an abandoned factory gives himself too much credit.

This is my same argument for all the live tv musicals they’ve been doing. You have ALLLLL of broadway to choose from. You can’t argue that you chose Breslin for her big name draw, because...no, so what’s the excuse for choosing her. If tv insists on doing live musicals or remaking shit like this, get actual…

Or at least give her intensive lessons.

I could not - and can not - stop laughing.

This entire paragraph was beautiful in its truth and brutality. Well done, Rich.

Hot Taek: The original Dirty Dancing was garbage too.

Maybe they should have gotten an actual dancer to play Baby.

Don’t pay any attention to Locomotive Jones. He’s a crazed troll and will harass anyone he thinks is new in order to un-grey him.