In fairness, they may be Russian women... But statistically they’re more likely to be married and middle-aged or older. Not the insatiable young sluts they feel entitled to.

Some commenter on Jezebel said back in 2012 that Mitt Romney had the face of a man “who’s never eaten pussy in his life.” It was the funniest comment that really stuck with me because all I could think of was the shitty frat bros I knew in college who would refuse to wear condoms and thought even a hint of hair on the…

It’s fundamental. Because SELFISH PEOPLE CAN’T FUCK. Ungenerous people are terrible in bed. If you’re conservative, and you put that in your dating profile, you’re announcing to the world “Fuck You, I Got Mine”— which makes people not want to fuck you. Even people who aren’t consciously aware of this rule will avoid…

Amen. When you hear them talk, and you instantly know you’re with someone whose idea of foreplay is “brace yourself, babe”, who doesn’t reciprocate anything, and who makes you sleep in the wet spot.... Why stick your hand in a blender?

Their whole worldview is metaphorically “Flail your dick around as hard as you can, sneer ‘I got mine, what’s your fucking problem?’, and roll over and start snoring”. Why on earth would they think anybody wants find out if it’s literally true in the sack?

Oh gosh, not only have I got Infinite Jest on my bookshelf, but I’ve also got a Buckley (Four Reforms, self-serving crap), a couple of Ayn Rands (Altas Shrugged and The Fountainhead, literally laugh-out-loud funny) and, hang on to your hat, Hitler’s Mein Kampf (know your enemy! also, mine is my late Uncle’s “Not one…

It’s fundamental. Because SELFISH PEOPLE CAN’T FUCK. Ungenerous people are terrible in bed. If you’re conservative, and you put that in your dating profile, you’re announcing to the world “Fuck You, I Got Mine”— which makes people not want to fuck you. Even people who aren’t consciously aware of this rule will avoid…