I mean, I just posted above that Key & Peele are better than both Schumer and Buress. I’m so glad they’re back! The Pirate Shanty was amazing! http://www.cc.com/video-clips/99…

It’s called “beautiful."

Yep. He broke the rules.

In an effort to curb the violence, the Florida District Attorney has issued a statement for all Tallahassee bars to remove video surveillance cameras immediately.

I know it’s too much to ask, but can all the “lulz, real ‘muricans don’t care ‘bout no soccer” fuckwads just take a day off, maybe go for a walk?

This is the moment when I completely lost it:

My eight year old daughter watched team USA throughout this tournament. This little girl, who never wanted to compete in sports made me promise I would sign her up for fall soccer immediately. She is so fired up!

I grew up idolizing Mia Hamm and Brandi Chastain. I am so, so happy that the next generation of little girls like me have women like Carli Lloyd, Tobin Heath, and Julie Johnston to look up to.

She was dominate even when she wasn’t scoring. The whole team was possessed. The skill level was insane. I watched the game with my brother in law and a friend. We were jumping around the living room like kids. After the fourth goal I called my dad and he picked up the phone and said, without a greeting, “They can’t…

My aunt would come to my college softball games and weep because she wasn’t allowed to join the track team in high school or college. My own kids think nothing of the Women's World Cup, girls being physically stronger than boys, or their mom being athletic. It's normal and that is a victory for us all.

As opposed to her being an unprofessional asshole who committed assault got her fired?

An old friend of mine loved it and passed the book on to me. This friend is white and from a wealthy family and really blind to her ignorance and privilege. I was her token “ethnic” friend. She said tons of racist and problematic things when we traveled abroad (but she thought she was really enlightened). My favorite…

I have an artisanal knuckle sandwich for the idiot that came up with this travesty.

In his WTF interview, he said the most fun he’s had in his presidency is watching his daughters grow up.

I was in Brownies for ONE DAY. They made us make cornhusk dolls instead of, I dunno, start a fire by rubbing sticks together. So I told my dad, fukkit, I’m not going back there. And yes, I did say fukkit when I was 9 so it was probably never going to work out.

HOFLOTUS: Hand Of First Lady Of The United States.

Good God, Wambach had been terrible this entire World Cup. Forget missing the pen... In general she has been bad. And as I type this, she had been demoted and Lloyd is taking pens... And converts. Real question is, who replaces Rapino in the 1/4 finals?

This actually really pisses me off. We lobbied for the $20, to replace a bad dude who didn’t favor paper currency and would likely have hated being on it. Easy decision, right? Nope. Instead they give us the $10 - a less popular currency - and we have to fucking share it with the dude already on it. Gee. Thanks.

Mmmm. A point I didn’t consider. That is a huge difference from an actual arranged marriage and this. Though on the same channel, they have the show Arranged, where the couples are matched by their parents.