In Montana we say "Here, hold my beer and watch this".

Still, dude's going to catch so much shit.

That look of drunken exhilaration and zero coordination and blind luck is incredibly Midwestern. We all recognize it. My drunk uncle stepped backwards off a deck yesterday, stumbled like he had been shot, and then made the same face as that woman when he didn't spill his beer. It was magical.

You should have picked Republican senator; it pays way better than either of those.

"Instead, it'll be in the winter, when temperatures rarely get out of the 70s."

lol good point

Here's our vicious pitbull =)

It can't be a pit bull, because the title would be "pit bull attacks child" if it's any other breed, it's always "dog attacks child."

When asked about his loyalty to the child, the cat replied "What child? I saw a fucking dog, I acted. Nibbles is looking out for Nibbles."

You're right, blamethatvictim. Everyone knows that the real privilege holders in America are black women. Hands down.

That reminds me of a terrifying babysitting experience where we played hide and seek in the house, and I could not find the 4 yr old. Looked everywhere in the house, in the yard, his older sister was looking. I called my parents, was about to call his parents - when I went outside to look around again and he opened…

How much money have we wasted finding a plane in the middle of the ocean (after it became abundantly clear that there were no survivors)?

The only time I let a man order for me is if I've already told him what I want and I'm currently stuffing my face with bread.

Actually... because they aren't in any real danger, it is kinda funny for a little bit. Like those times when I am taking my shirt off, it gets caught on my neck and I twist and then fall down. Kinda funny.

"that tissue box you have left over from your cold two months ago"

Wow, shocking number of comments here about her appearance or her being all sorts of names.

National geographic also did a story about them a few months ago. I showed it to our daughter's nurse (he's Nigerian) and asked if he thought it was a fair article, he said he felt it was.

Were the crab legs told how miserable life would be for them if they pressed charges?

I think the "daughters, sisters and wives" part was an attempt to get your average 'Merican dude out of their own head and thinking about assault in terms of how it could affect someone he loves. Many people here have a much larger vocabulary to support discussions about sexual assault, and a much more nuanced…

Gosh I am emotional today. I got teary watching this. The part that says, "If I saw it happening, I wouldn't blame her" just really hit me.

But is his body BIKINI READY? Will we ever know?!