I hadn't really even thought much about Billy Bob Thornton until I started watching Fargo the TV show. He is fucking incredible in Fargo. The perfect blend of overconfidence and creepiness.

You put this in a very true light for me—I hadn't really seen it as a "do what you're told" scenario, but it is. If there was something done that really was so egregious that I should never associate with him, then I need to know what it was. If you aren't going to tell me then I can't be expected to just stand on…

No, because I don't even know what to ask.

No - I've been very open about the fact that I want to hear the whole story. Many times. And as someone who was almost date-raped in college and got called a "shamer" when I tried to be open about what happened to me, I think inappropriate anything between males and females should be acknowledged. But in this case,…

OK - question for you Jezzies. I'm in an old school group of friends. One of the men in the group got cast out for being inappropriate in conversation with one of the women. I wasn't around for this incident and whenever I ask for details, I don't get any. Literally I get stonewalled. So now I'm in the weird position…

If you live in Brooklyn and name your dog Brooklyn, you have to move. Sorry.

The second was hilarious because her mom had already sort of disciplined/told her not to do it, so the second time she had this awesome shit-eating grin on her face. Toddlers are assholes, and by that I mean the kind of assholes I love.

I'm envisioning this as Oprah style: And you get a petal! And you get a petal!

There was a toddler flasher at my college friend's wedding. Best part of the ceremony. She did it twice!

Flower girl age 4 for my cousin's wedding. I went to the rehearsal, but we only practiced going INTO the church. So at the end of the wedding, when the bride and groom turned to walk down the aisle, I zoomed out in front of them like a boss to take my rightful place as the leader of the wedding party. There's a great…

I think you're required to wear a Product of Rape t-shirt.

Stop it with your commie logic.

Because they realize that a bunch of "Bootstrappers" don't have the cooperation skills necessary to install a fucking lightbulb together then again build a power plant.

I'd concur except my parents live in Florida and I do like visiting for Christmas. Plus I don't want them enjoying the infrastructure that the federal government—that their trying to dismantle—built.

Here and on Gawker, people are always fantasizing about creating our own country on a small island away from all these fucks. But now I'm voting for an island where we send all these fucks so they can say stupid shit to each other without us having to hear it. We'll call it Palan-dia in honor of the first citizen to…

Nope, nope. Shirley Maclaine has already been reserved to cut cake at my wedding, cuz there's nothing like a sweet piece of ass. Maybe we can share...

Sweet Jesus - that is terrifying. Never seen that one before.

One girl asked me what my best tongue tricks for blowjobs were. I about fell over.

Confession: When I was a stoopid high school kid and still under the influence of my very conservative, religious and Republican parents, I taught abstinence classes in the middle schools of my town. It was the most idiotic thing I ever did and I'm ashamed of it now. And most of the kids basically ignored us or asked…

This might be my favorite comment of all time. Also, exactly how I felt watching the USMNT play Belgium. It's like we had a ton of heart out there, but they were just better and we were gonna lose in the end.